View Full Version : I love you!!!!!!!
Tonight I dreamed of an angel kissing my lips in the rain.
Tonight I saw me in the arms of an angel, far away from here.
Tonight I was dreaming of you!
m_tetovari
27-06-04, 07:45
Anila ! that is very nice sad from you...i'm sure you've brought happiness to the one you've writen it ...dreaming is... living it!!!
Tonight I dreamed of an angel kissing my lips in the rain.
Tonight I saw me in the arms of an angel, far away from here.
Tonight I was dreaming of you!
Anila,babes i think u were dremaing about me...........dont worry i will come one night and make u happy for rest of ur life ok.....
Cool_Boy :wink:
hi cool boy,
it´s very kind of you that you will come to me and make me happy...but i don´t now how will make you it....
have a nice day
ANILA
hi cool boy,
it´s very kind of you that you will come to me and make me happy...but i don´t now how will make you it....
have a nice day
ANILA
Anila babes dont worry when Cool_Boy comes in front of u that will be the happiest day of ur life i promise u this but how,i am not going to tell u right now,sorry :(
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink: :wink: ,where r u from anyway??
Esmerallda
06-07-04, 20:58
hi cool boy,
it´s very kind of you that you will come to me and make me happy...but i don´t now how will make you it....
have a nice day
ANILA
Anila babes dont worry when Cool_Boy comes in front of u that will be the happiest day of ur life i promise u this but how,i am not going to tell u right now,sorry :(
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink: :wink: ,where r u from anyway??
Anila listen to me sweet heart
Do not listen what the kids say, cause thats how he's used to talk to the girls and do not belive to him cause the DOG which bark a lot never bayt
If you meet him l'm 100% sure that day it is going to bee the most discusting day of your life., so just ignore him
you should get used to this cinde of boys
Have great time & take care
hi cool boy,
it´s very kind of you that you will come to me and make me happy...but i don´t now how will make you it....
have a nice day
ANILA
Anila babes dont worry when Cool_Boy comes in front of u that will be the happiest day of ur life i promise u this but how,i am not going to tell u right now,sorry :(
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink: :wink: ,where r u from anyway??
Anila listen to me sweet heart
Do not listen what the kids say, cause thats how he's used to talk to the girls and do not belive to him cause the DOG which bark a lot never bayt
If you meet him l'm 100% sure that day it is going to bee the most discusting day of your life., so just ignore him
you should get used to this cinde of boys
Have great time & take care
I know who u r really good Esmerallda and u saying thinks that r not true about me and u calling me a dirtly little boy as well as dog ok girl no problem but i can prove that i am not a dog or dirty boy not only to Anila but to who ever wants to see me but remember that i will only meet the girls that i think do for me and not beg's on the street like u lol ok...........
Be careful what u say next time girl,have a great night hope u learn how to talk better next time.......
Anila :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink:
Esmerallda
07-07-04, 17:28
I know who u r really good Esmerallda and u saying thinks that r not true about me and u calling me a dirtly little boy as well as dog ok girl no problem but i can prove that i am not a dog or dirty boy not only to Anila but to who ever wants to see me but remember that i will only meet the girls that i think do for me and not beg's on the street like u lol ok...........
Be careful what u say next time girl,have a great night hope u learn how to talk better next time.......
Anila :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink:
yoou baby
l bet u don't know who l'm :lol: :lol: :lol:
and another thing, never ever don't make a compliment 4 your self
live the others to do that 4 you. GROW UP cause we cant teach you all your life.
you r the one why begs all the girls in the forume, but it is better if u make your mine, and stuck on one, or you r gonna without any :wink:
Anyway l can't really bothered to meet guys which l have to teach them what they can do for gilrs
that's why l sayd GROW UP.
ANILA = don't buy those words from him, cause you must heard about the boys what they do when they r away from they country.
They learn how to lie to make they selfs cooler as they can
Look after your self sweety
I know who u r really good Esmerallda and u saying thinks that r not true about me and u calling me a dirtly little boy as well as dog ok girl no problem but i can prove that i am not a dog or dirty boy not only to Anila but to who ever wants to see me but remember that i will only meet the girls that i think do for me and not beg's on the street like u lol ok...........
Be careful what u say next time girl,have a great night hope u learn how to talk better next time.......
Anila :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cool_Boy :wink: :wink:
yoou baby
l bet u don't know who l'm :lol: :lol: :lol:
and another thing, never ever don't make a compliment 4 your self
live the others to do that 4 you. GROW UP cause we cant teach you all your life.
you r the one why begs all the girls in the forume, but it is better if u make your mine, and stuck on one, or you r gonna without any :wink:
Anyway l can't really bothered to meet guys which l have to teach them what they can do for gilrs
that's why l sayd GROW UP.
ANILA = don't buy those words from him, cause you must heard about the boys what they do when they r away from they country.
They learn how to lie to make they selfs cooler as they can
Look after your self sweety
Esmerallda thank you so much for ur messages babes but one thing remember i never make compliments for my self ok but other people do and i know what kind of person i am..........babes another thing i wanted to say to is that i dont beg girls in this forum ok u dont have to make things up ok so next time watch what u r saying and be more polite to others dont start talking crap here ok.........
I KNOW WHO U R DONT MESS WITH COOL BOY babes, i regret to say ths but i still have to say it to ur face..........
Cool_Boy-FOR LIFE :wink: :wink:
Hello Anila & Esmerallda :)
Girls you know that we don't need a man te make us happy, we can do that on our own.... don't take a crap from anyone who treats you bad :)
Have wonderful day :)
hey IceGirl i havent been rude to anyone and i have not said anything bad to Anila and i have not asked her out ok we r just chatting like in other parts of this forum ok dont understand things wrong use ur brains next time espacially u Esmerallda,dont start throwing crap to others when nothing is true ok...
I know why u r writting these kind of comments cos ur lack of understanding ok :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cool_Boy
Cool_Boy I really Don't care what you do or don't do, I just made a comment, I did not point at you, I don't really know you and you don't really know me. I don't judge people so stop being such a rude little boy, stop being a wise ass.As for the understaning I think I can do much better than you. At least I don't disrespect people just because I can I have more sense than that in my life . So use your brain ,think before you have to say something because you can hurt someone feelings even if you don't mean to do that.
Don't judge people before you get ti know them.
Have nice day :!:
Cool_Boy I really Don't care what you do or don't do, I just made a comment, I did not point at you, I don't really know you and you don't really know me. I don't judge people so stop being such a rude little boy, stop being a wise ass.As for the understaning I think I can do much better than you. At least I don't disrespect people just because I can I have more sense than that in my life . So use your brain ,think before you have to say something because you can hurt someone feelings even if you don't mean to do that.
Don't judge people before you get ti know them.
Have nice day :!:
oh thanks babes for ur comments i really enjoyed reading it :lol: :lol: :lol: but u dont have to use words like ass,little rude boy cos these words are bad espacially for e person who understands alot like u :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ok.................
thanks so much for ur comments babes i never meant to hurt u or other people on this forum ok i just wrote e message undersatnd ?for Anila as u can see then other people Interfered here like kids i hope u can read that and understand that i nver hurt anybody here ok.....
Chill girl enjoy ur life here in this forum,have a great time....
Cool_Boy :lol: :lol: :lol:
Cool_Boy I know you din not mean to hurt anyone , but sometimes we say things that we don't really mean, but we have to be careful sometimes, things can get out off hand ...we can hurt people tha we really care....
Have good day
IceGirl i dont come here to ofend anyone ok and i never intend to ofend anyone but cos people write silly comments and think they know me thats all crap just read the commnets from esmerallda truley nonsense...
have a goodnight girl enjoy ur life ..............
Cool_Boy
Cool_Boy I know... I understand what you mean........
hello, just wanted to say that I don't see a lot of love here.
hahahah bxboy...you are right.....but you see fight for love maybe... heheheheh
Postuar: Thu Jul 08, 2004 3:44 am Titulli i mesazhit: :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Anila & Esmerallda
Girls you know that we don't need a man te make us happy, we can do that on our own.... don't take a crap from anyone who treats you bad
Have wonderful day
_________________
Love Is Pain
I don't think you can make yourself happy if there is no man in this earth :lol: :lol: :lol:
not me 8)
FOR ALL OF YOU GIRL WHO THING THAT LOVE IS PAIN,,
** COME TO PAPA,, ILL HEAL YOUR PAIN,,,,
** DONT BE SO NEGATIVE IN LIVE,,
**IF LOVE DOESNT WORK THERE IS ALWAYS PLEASURE AROUND WHICH WORKS ALL THE TIMES.. :lol:
TUNG JU PERSHENDES
danny, it's that kind of attitude that makes hetero girls switch teams, if you know what i mean.
what de fuck is happening here man!!!!!!!!!!!!Whos chat what??Everybody looks to be chatting shit here,assholes............
man u know what dont bullshit cos i am alergic to it ..........
NobodysFool
22-03-05, 00:36
Online Affairs
Kerby Anderson
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Allure of Cyber-Relationships
The Internet is becoming a breeding ground for adultery, so say many experts who track the pattern of extramarital affairs. So we will discuss the phenomenon of online affairs.
Peggy Vaughn is the author of The Monogamy Myth and also serves as an expert for America Online on problems caused by infidelity. She predicts that one "role of the Internet in the future will be as a source of affairs." She is writing a second book on the subject of adultery and says she could base half of it just on the letters she receives from people who started an affair online.{1}
An online affair (or cyberaffair) is an intimate or sexually explicit communication between a married person and someone other than their spouse that takes place on the Internet. Usually this communication takes place through an online service such as America Online or CompuServe. Participants usually visit a chat room to begin a group conversation and then often move into a one-to-one mode of communication. Chat room categories range from "single and liking it" to "married and flirting" to "naked on the keyboard."
Women in a chat room are often surprised at what develops in a fairly short period of time. At first the conversation is stimulating, though flirtatious. Quickly, however, women are often confronted with increasingly sexual questions and comments. Even if the comments don’t turn personal, women find themselves quickly sharing intimate information about themselves and their relationships that they would never share with someone in person. Peggy Vaughn says, "Stay-at-home moms in chat rooms are sharing all this personal stuff they are hiding from their partners." She finds that the intensity of women’s online relationships can "quickly escalate into thinking they have found a soulmate."
Online affairs differ from physical world affairs in some ways, but are similar in others. Cyberaffairs are based upon written communication where a person may feel more free to express herself anonymously than in person. Frequently the communication becomes sexually graphic and kinky in ways that probably would not occur if a real person were hearing these comments and could act on them. Participants in an online affair will often tell their life stories and their innermost secrets. They will also create a new persona, become sexually adventurous, and pretend to be different than they really are.
Pretending is a major theme in cyberaffairs. Men claim to be professionals (doctors, lawyers) who work out every day in the gym. And they universally claim that if their wives met their needs, they wouldn’t be sex shopping on the Internet. Women claim to be slim, sexy, and adventurous. The anonymity of the Internet allows them to divulge (or even create) their wildest fantasies. In fact, their frank talk and flirtation pays great dividends in the number of men in a chat room who want to talk to them and get together with them.
Just as the Internet has become a new source of pornography for many, so it seems that it has also become a new source for affairs. Relationships online frequently go over the line leaving pain, heartbreak, and even divorce in their wake. Even though these online affairs don’t involve sex, they can be very intense and threaten a marriage just the same.
Current Statistics on Adultery
In a previous article, I talked about some of the statistics concerning adultery. Before we continue, let me update some of those numbers with a multitude of studies all coming to similar conclusions.
One conclusion is that adultery is becoming more common, and researchers are finding that women are as likely as men to have an affair. A 1983 study found that 29 percent of married people under 25 had had an affair with no statistical difference between the number of men and women who chose to be unfaithful to their spouses early in life.{2} By comparison, only 9 percent of spouses in the 1950s under the age of 25 had been involved in extramarital sex. Another study concluded that by age 40 about 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become involved in an extramarital affair.{3}
Affairs are usually more than a one-time event. A 1987 study surveyed 200 men and women and found that their affairs lasted an average of two years.{4} In fact, affairs go through transitions over time. They may begin as romantic, sexual, or emotional relationships and may become intimate friendships. Affairs that become friendships can last decades or a lifetime.
Online affairs differ from other affairs in that they may not involve a physical component, but the emotional attachment is still there. Online affairs develop because of the dual attraction of attention and anonymity. Someone who has been ignored by a spouse (or at least perceives that he or she is ignored) suddenly becomes the center of attention in a chat room or a one-on-one e-mail exchange. A woman finds it exciting, even intoxicating, that all these men want to talk to her. And they are eager to hear what she says and needs.
Anonymity feeds this intoxication because the person on the other end of this cyberaffair is unknown. He or she can be as beautiful and intelligent as your dreams can imagine. The fantasy is fueled by the lack of information and the anonymity. No one in cyberland has bad breath, a bald head, love handles, or a bad temper. The sex is the best you can imagine. Men are warm, sensitive, caring, and communicative. Women are daring, sensual, and erotic.
Is it all too good to be true? Of course it is. Cyberaffairs are only make-believe. Usually when cyberlovers meet, there is a major letdown. No real person can compete with a dream lover. No marriage can compete with a cyberaffair. But then an online affair can’t really compete with a real relationship that provides true friendship and marital intimacy.
Nevertheless, online affairs are seductive. An Internet addict calls out to a spouse "one more minute" just as an alcoholic justifies "one more drink." Cyberaffairs provide an opportunity to become another person and chat with distant and invisible neighbors in the high-tech limbo of cyberspace. Social and emotional needs are met, flirting is allowed and even encouraged, and an illusion of intimacy feeds the addiction that has caught so many unsuspecting Internet surfers.
Motivations for Affairs
Affairs usually develop because the relationship meets various social and psychological needs. Self-esteem needs are often at the top of the list. Self-esteem needs are met through knowing, understanding, and acceptance. Psychologists say that those needs are enhanced through talking intimately about feelings, thoughts, and needs. This can take place in person or take place through the Internet.
Even though online affairs may not involve a physical component, the emotional attachment can be just as strong and even overwhelming. And when they end, this strong attachment usually leaves participants in emotional pain.
Women report feeling thrilled by their lover’s interest in them physically, emotionally, and intellectually. They are also excited about the chance to know a different man (how he thinks and feels). They also feel intimate with their lovers because they can talk about their feelings openly. However, when the affair ends, they feel a great deal of guilt with regard to their husband and children. They also regret the deceit that accompanied the affair.
Men report feeling excited about the sexual experience of the affair. They try to control their feelings in the affair and do not compete with their feelings for their wife. Often they limit the emotional involvement with their lover. Men also feel guilt and regret over deceit when an affair ends, but less so than most women.
Men and women have affairs for different reasons. Research has shown that women seek affairs in order to be loved, have a friend, and feel needed. Men seek affairs for sexual fulfillment, friendship, and fun.{5}
It appears that the percentage of women who have extramarital sex has increased the last few decades. In 1953 Alfred Kinsey found that 29 percent of married women admitted to at least one affair.{6} A Psychology Today survey in 1970 reported that 36 percent of their female readers had extramarital sex.{7} One study in 1987 found that 70 percent of women surveyed had been involved in an affair.{8}
It also appears that women who are employed full-time outside of the home are more likely to have an affair than full-time homemakers. Several studies come to this same conclusion. One study found that 47 percent of wives who were employed full-time and 27 percent of full-time homemakers had been involved in an affair before they were 40 years old.{9} And New Woman magazine found that 57 percent of employed wives who had an affair met their lover at work.{10}
Contrary to conventional wisdom, an affair will not help your marriage. In 1975, Linda Wolfe published Playing Around after she studied twenty-one women who were having affairs to keep their marriages intact.{11} The reasoning for many of these women was that if they could meet their own needs, their marriages would be more successful. Many said they were desperately lonely. Others were afraid, believing their husbands did not love them or were not committed to their marriage. Five years after the initial study, only three of the twenty-one women were still married.
Adultery can destroy a marriage, whether a physical affair or an online affair.
Preventing an Affair
The general outline for some of these ideas comes from family therapist Frank Pittman, author of Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy, although I have added additional material. He has counseled 10,000 couples over the last forty years, and about 7,000 have experienced infidelity. He has nineteen specific suggestions for couples on how to avoid affairs.{12} Let’s look at a few of them.
First, accept the possibility of being sexually attracted to another and of having sexual fantasies. Frank Pittman believes we should acknowledge that such thoughts can develop so that you don’t scare them into hiding. But he also says you shouldn’t act on them.
Second, we should hang out with monogamous people. He says, "They make a good support system." To state it negatively, "Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals" (1 Cor. 15:33).
Third, work on your marriage. He says to keep your marriage sexy and work to be intimate with your spouse. He also says to make marriage an important part of your identity. "Carry your marriage with you wherever you go."
Fourth, be realistic about your marriage. Pittman says, "Don’t expect your marriage to make you happy. See your partner as a source of comfort rather than a cause of unhappiness." Accept the reality of marriage; it isn’t always beautiful. Also accept that you are both imperfect.
Fifth, keep the marriage equal. Share parenting duties. "If not, one partner will become the full-time parent, and the other will become a full-time child" without responsibilities, who seeks to be taken care of. And keep the relationships equal. Pittman says, "The more equal it is, the more both partners will respect and value it."
Sixth, if you aren’t already married, be careful in your choice of a marriage partner. For example, marry someone who believes in, and has a family history of, monogamy. Frank Pittman says, "It is a bad idea to become the fifth husband of a woman who has been unfaithful to her previous four." Also, marry someone who respects and likes your gender. "They will get over the specialness of you yourself and eventually consider you as part of a gender they dislike."
Seventh, call home every day you travel. "Otherwise, you begin to have a separate life." And stay faithful. "If you want your partner to (stay faithful), it is a good idea to stay faithful yourself." And make sure you are open, honest, and authentic. Lies and deception create a secret life that can allow an affair to occur.
Finally, don’t overreact or exaggerate the consequences of an affair if it occurs. Pittman says, "It doesn’t mean there will be a divorce, murder or suicide. Catch yourself and work your way back into the marriage."
Affairs can destroy a marriage. Take the time to affair-proof your marriage so you avoid the pain, guilt and regret that inevitably results. And if you have fallen into an affair, work your way back and rebuild your marriage.
Consequences of Affairs
When God commands, "You shall not commit adultery" (Ex. 20:14), He did so for our own good. There are significant social, psychological, and spiritual consequences to adultery.
A major social cost is divorce. An affair that is discovered does not have to lead to divorce, but often it does. About one- third of couples remain together after the discovery of an adulterous affair, while the other two-thirds usually divorce.
Not surprisingly, the divorce rate is higher among people who have affairs. Annette Lawson (author of Adultery: An Analysis of Love and Betrayal) found that spouses who did not have affairs had the lowest rate of divorce. Women who had multiple affairs (especially if they started early in the marriage) had the highest rate of divorce.
A lesser known fact is that those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. For example, Dr. Jan Halper’s study of successful men (executives, entrepreneurs, professionals) found that very few men who have affairs divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers.{13}
Frank Pittman has found that the divorce rate among those who married their lovers was 75 percent.{14} The reasons for the high divorce rate include: intervention of reality, guilt, expectations, a general distrust of marriage, and a distrust of the affairee.
The psychological consequences are also significant, even if they are sometimes more difficult to discern. People who pursue an affair often do so for self-esteem needs, but often further erode those feelings by violating trust, intimacy, and stability in a marriage relationship. Affairs do not stabilize a marriage, they upset it.
Affairs destroy trust. It’s not surprising that marriages formed after an affair and a divorce have such a high divorce rate. If your new spouse cheated before, what guarantee do you have that this person won’t begin to cheat on you? Distrust of marriage and distrust of the affairee are significant issues.
Finally, there are spiritual consequences to affairs. We grieve the Lord by our actions. We disgrace the Lord as we become one more statistic of moral failure within the body of Christ. We threaten the sacred marriage bond between us and our spouse. We bring guilt into our lives and shame into our marriage and family. Affairs extract a tremendous price in our lives and the lives of those we love and hold dear.
And let’s not forget the long-term consequences. Affairs, for example, can lead to unwanted pregnancies. According to one report, "Studies of blood typing show that as many as 1 out of every 10 babies born in North America is not the offspring of the mother’s husband."{15} Affairs can also result in sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, or even AIDS. Many of these diseases are not curable and will last for a lifetime.
Adultery is dangerous, and so are online affairs. The popularity of the recent movie You’ve Got Mail has helped feed the fantasy that you are writing to Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan. In nearly every case, nothing could be further from the truth. An online affair could happen to you, and the plot might be more like Fatal Attraction.
Online Affairs
Kerby Anderson
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Allure of Cyber-Relationships
The Internet is becoming a breeding ground for adultery, so say many experts who track the pattern of extramarital affairs. So we will discuss the phenomenon of online affairs.
Peggy Vaughn is the author of The Monogamy Myth and also serves as an expert for America Online on problems caused by infidelity. She predicts that one "role of the Internet in the future will be as a source of affairs." She is writing a second book on the subject of adultery and says she could base half of it just on the letters she receives from people who started an affair online.{1}
An online affair (or cyberaffair) is an intimate or sexually explicit communication between a married person and someone other than their spouse that takes place on the Internet. Usually this communication takes place through an online service such as America Online or CompuServe. Participants usually visit a chat room to begin a group conversation and then often move into a one-to-one mode of communication. Chat room categories range from "single and liking it" to "married and flirting" to "naked on the keyboard."
Women in a chat room are often surprised at what develops in a fairly short period of time. At first the conversation is stimulating, though flirtatious. Quickly, however, women are often confronted with increasingly sexual questions and comments. Even if the comments don’t turn personal, women find themselves quickly sharing intimate information about themselves and their relationships that they would never share with someone in person. Peggy Vaughn says, "Stay-at-home moms in chat rooms are sharing all this personal stuff they are hiding from their partners." She finds that the intensity of women’s online relationships can "quickly escalate into thinking they have found a soulmate."
Online affairs differ from physical world affairs in some ways, but are similar in others. Cyberaffairs are based upon written communication where a person may feel more free to express herself anonymously than in person. Frequently the communication becomes sexually graphic and kinky in ways that probably would not occur if a real person were hearing these comments and could act on them. Participants in an online affair will often tell their life stories and their innermost secrets. They will also create a new persona, become sexually adventurous, and pretend to be different than they really are.
Pretending is a major theme in cyberaffairs. Men claim to be professionals (doctors, lawyers) who work out every day in the gym. And they universally claim that if their wives met their needs, they wouldn’t be sex shopping on the Internet. Women claim to be slim, sexy, and adventurous. The anonymity of the Internet allows them to divulge (or even create) their wildest fantasies. In fact, their frank talk and flirtation pays great dividends in the number of men in a chat room who want to talk to them and get together with them.
Just as the Internet has become a new source of pornography for many, so it seems that it has also become a new source for affairs. Relationships online frequently go over the line leaving pain, heartbreak, and even divorce in their wake. Even though these online affairs don’t involve sex, they can be very intense and threaten a marriage just the same.
Current Statistics on Adultery
In a previous article, I talked about some of the statistics concerning adultery. Before we continue, let me update some of those numbers with a multitude of studies all coming to similar conclusions.
One conclusion is that adultery is becoming more common, and researchers are finding that women are as likely as men to have an affair. A 1983 study found that 29 percent of married people under 25 had had an affair with no statistical difference between the number of men and women who chose to be unfaithful to their spouses early in life.{2} By comparison, only 9 percent of spouses in the 1950s under the age of 25 had been involved in extramarital sex. Another study concluded that by age 40 about 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become involved in an extramarital affair.{3}
Affairs are usually more than a one-time event. A 1987 study surveyed 200 men and women and found that their affairs lasted an average of two years.{4} In fact, affairs go through transitions over time. They may begin as romantic, sexual, or emotional relationships and may become intimate friendships. Affairs that become friendships can last decades or a lifetime.
Online affairs differ from other affairs in that they may not involve a physical component, but the emotional attachment is still there. Online affairs develop because of the dual attraction of attention and anonymity. Someone who has been ignored by a spouse (or at least perceives that he or she is ignored) suddenly becomes the center of attention in a chat room or a one-on-one e-mail exchange. A woman finds it exciting, even intoxicating, that all these men want to talk to her. And they are eager to hear what she says and needs.
Anonymity feeds this intoxication because the person on the other end of this cyberaffair is unknown. He or she can be as beautiful and intelligent as your dreams can imagine. The fantasy is fueled by the lack of information and the anonymity. No one in cyberland has bad breath, a bald head, love handles, or a bad temper. The sex is the best you can imagine. Men are warm, sensitive, caring, and communicative. Women are daring, sensual, and erotic.
Is it all too good to be true? Of course it is. Cyberaffairs are only make-believe. Usually when cyberlovers meet, there is a major letdown. No real person can compete with a dream lover. No marriage can compete with a cyberaffair. But then an online affair can’t really compete with a real relationship that provides true friendship and marital intimacy.
Nevertheless, online affairs are seductive. An Internet addict calls out to a spouse "one more minute" just as an alcoholic justifies "one more drink." Cyberaffairs provide an opportunity to become another person and chat with distant and invisible neighbors in the high-tech limbo of cyberspace. Social and emotional needs are met, flirting is allowed and even encouraged, and an illusion of intimacy feeds the addiction that has caught so many unsuspecting Internet surfers.
Motivations for Affairs
Affairs usually develop because the relationship meets various social and psychological needs. Self-esteem needs are often at the top of the list. Self-esteem needs are met through knowing, understanding, and acceptance. Psychologists say that those needs are enhanced through talking intimately about feelings, thoughts, and needs. This can take place in person or take place through the Internet.
Even though online affairs may not involve a physical component, the emotional attachment can be just as strong and even overwhelming. And when they end, this strong attachment usually leaves participants in emotional pain.
Women report feeling thrilled by their lover’s interest in them physically, emotionally, and intellectually. They are also excited about the chance to know a different man (how he thinks and feels). They also feel intimate with their lovers because they can talk about their feelings openly. However, when the affair ends, they feel a great deal of guilt with regard to their husband and children. They also regret the deceit that accompanied the affair.
Men report feeling excited about the sexual experience of the affair. They try to control their feelings in the affair and do not compete with their feelings for their wife. Often they limit the emotional involvement with their lover. Men also feel guilt and regret over deceit when an affair ends, but less so than most women.
Men and women have affairs for different reasons. Research has shown that women seek affairs in order to be loved, have a friend, and feel needed. Men seek affairs for sexual fulfillment, friendship, and fun.{5}
It appears that the percentage of women who have extramarital sex has increased the last few decades. In 1953 Alfred Kinsey found that 29 percent of married women admitted to at least one affair.{6} A Psychology Today survey in 1970 reported that 36 percent of their female readers had extramarital sex.{7} One study in 1987 found that 70 percent of women surveyed had been involved in an affair.{8}
It also appears that women who are employed full-time outside of the home are more likely to have an affair than full-time homemakers. Several studies come to this same conclusion. One study found that 47 percent of wives who were employed full-time and 27 percent of full-time homemakers had been involved in an affair before they were 40 years old.{9} And New Woman magazine found that 57 percent of employed wives who had an affair met their lover at work.{10}
Finally, there are spiritual consequences to affairs. We grieve the Lord by our actions. We disgrace the Lord as we become one more statistic of moral failure within the body of Christ. We threaten the sacred marriage bond between us and our spouse. We bring guilt into our lives and shame into our marriage and family. Affairs extract a tremendous price in our lives and the lives of those we love and hold dear.
And let’s not forget the long-term consequences. Affairs, for example, can lead to unwanted pregnancies. According to one report, "Studies of blood typing show that as many as 1 out of every 10 babies born in North America is not the offspring of the mother’s husband."{15} Affairs can also result in sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, or even AIDS. Many of these diseases are not curable and will last for a lifetime.
Adultery is dangerous, and so are online affairs. The popularity of the recent movie You’ve Got Mail has helped feed the fantasy that you are writing to Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan. In nearly every case, nothing could be further from the truth. An online affair could happen to you, and the plot might be more like Fatal Attraction.
woooooooooow!!!!
THIS I S S C A R Y STUFF DUDE
NobodysFool
27-04-05, 05:36
too late for me, just don't say i didnt warn you if it happens to you.
I just love U so much :wink:
Phaaaaaaaaaaaa more burre po ku e gjete tan kete text bre se tybe mu desht edhe Gjysllykte me i ngjite e me knue tan kete ckrim tanin bre,po cka me erdhe am hardest that was in inglish,and if dhat waz in German,I am veri shor dhat I would't nid maj glasis tu rid it.
Maj Frend aj am not an inglish spiking person veq tybe e mora vesh de cka kishe pas dashte ti me na tell az with jor text mesage,thenk ju veri mach,and pliz com egejn and next tajm pliz,pliz mejk it shorter ok.
Hev e najs dej or najt,end slip well.
gud najt.
If I die or gone somewhere far, I would write Your name on every star, so then angels can look up and see how much you mean to me !
Wenn Du abends schlafen gehst
Und dann in den himmel siehst
Sagt dir der Stern mit dem hellsten licht
Ich Liebe dich Vergiss mich nicht
Daja POLIC
26-07-06, 20:02
Wenn Du abends schlafen gehst
Und dann in den himmel siehst
Sagt dir der Stern mit dem hellsten licht
Ich Liebe dich Vergiss mich nicht
ich sehe kein sterne am himmel :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
Daja Polic du hast die sterne nicht gesehn weil du warst nicht gemeint mit dieser wörte :biggrin: der jenige der gemeint war hat sie bestimmt gesehn
aLbaChiCk
Nimm mein herz wenn du gehst
Denn ich will das du verstehst
Wenn du gehst ist es leer
und ich brauche es nicht mehr
Zero Cool
Nach Paragraph 69 Absatz §1 des Liebesgesetzbuches
Sperre ich dich lebenslänglich in mein herz ein
gegen diesen urteil kann kein wiederspruch eingelegt werden
UnWanted_Love
03-11-06, 07:52
coolboy!!! why dont u cool of abit lol dont mean to be rude but icegirl is only giving her opinions so theres no need for u to try n correct in wat she writes icegirl keep up the good work n dw about coolboy coz he thinks his to cool lol :rolleyes:
Hello Anila & Esmerallda :)
Girls you know that we don't need a man te make us happy, we can do that on our own.... don't take a crap from anyone who treats you bad :)
Have wonderful day :)
Yeah and thats the way it should be IceGirl.
Its such anice day:biggrin:
MY PERFECT LOVE
I gave birth to perfect love!
I labored in pain
till I heard her cry,
I shivered in feelings
of no words
till I saw her face,
And as she breathed out of me
in the form of a child
I sang:
"God, thank you for this love!"
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