Nice and funny stories....

[lovely]

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says ''Dark in here''
The man says ''Yes'' it is.
Boy - I have a baseball.
Man - That's nice.
Boy - Want to buy it ??
Man - No thanks.
Boy - My dad's outside.
Man - OK how much ??
Boy - $150
Man - Sold.

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - ''Dark in here"
Man - ''Yes'' it is.
Boy - I have a Wilson infielder's glove.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much ??
Boy - $350
Man - Highway robbery. Sold..

A few days later, the father says to the boy, Grab your gloves,let's go outside and have a game of catch.

The boy says, ''I can't'' I sold my ball and my glove.
The father asks, How much did you sell them for?
The boy says, $500

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, ''Dark in here''
The priest says, Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now.

[lovely]

The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear'the rules'
>From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problemonly If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is aproblem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant theother one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1 Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, itwill Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
orgolf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[lovely]

I only know of one couple that fits to a 't' and they've been married
over
70 years... gives the rest of us a challenge .doesn't it?
Fluffy of the Day - Before you start reading get a box of kleenex
handy -
a
real tearjerker
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year.'
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,

that he would pass
away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,

everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it
was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would
explain,
Why would someone do this to her,
causing her such pain?
'I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,'
The owner said, 'I knew you'd call,
and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order,

that I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in
advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...
he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out
that he's no longer here,
that's the card that should be sent
to you the following year.'
She thanked him and hung up the phone,
her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached
To get the
card.
Inside the card, she saw that
he had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
'Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard
for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made
everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses
will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,

think of all the
happiness,
That we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you
and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not
answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him.
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.

[lovely]

Life is..

Life is an oppotrunity, benefit it
Life is beauty, admire it
Life is bliss, taste it
Life is dream,realize it
Life is a challenge, meet it
Life is duty, complete it
Life is a game, play it
Life is a promise, fulfill it
Life is sorrow, overcome it
Life is a struggle, accep it
Life is a tragedy, confront it
Life is an adventure, dare it
Life is luck,make it
Life is too precious, do not destroy it
Life is life, fight for IT!

Mother Teresa

[lovely]

So it was their 7th month anniversary and the girl calls her boyfriend:

-Girl:
I love you.


- Boy:
Yeah I know everyone does!


-Girl:
Really?


- Boy:
Yeah...everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday.


- Girl:
Oh...but am I only your friend?


- Boy:
No...you're my girlfriend...why?


- Girl:
So when I say I love you I really do mean it.


- Boy:
Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.


- Girl:
..........


- Boy:
So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th month anniversary?


- Girl:
Yeah...where?


- Boy:
I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?


-Girl:
Ok.


- Boy:
Ill pick you up after I get off and get ready ok?


- Girl:
Ok. What time do you get off?


- Boy: In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 minutes...


-Girl:
hey...I thought you didnt have work today...


- Boy:
One of my co-workers called in sick.


- Girl:
Oh okay! So sill see you around 7:30 then?


- Boy:
Yeah! and babe?


- Girl:
Yeah?


- Boy:
I love you.


- Girl:
I love you too!


- Boy:
Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.


- Girl:
Ok bye.


- Boy:
Bye.


************************************************** *****


2 hours later...


The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings the doorbell....


- Girl:
Hey!(gives a kiss to her boyfriend)


- Boy:
Wadssup.....you ready?


- Girl:
Um...wait...let me get my bag and we can go ok?


- Boy:
Ok.


They both watched a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating, they headed back to the car but before she got into the car.......


- Boy:
Wait! Can I blindfold you?


- Girl:
Why??!?


- Boy:
Its a surprise.


- Girl:
What kinda surprise??


- Boy:
A big one.


- Girl:
Okay but only if you promise me tat you will hold my hand while we're driving...


- Boy:
I promise.


- Girl:
Ok blindfold me.....


So they drove off.........and then they stopped....


- Boy:
Ok we're here!!


-Girl:
Where??


- Boy:
Wait let me walk you to the place!


- Girl:
What place??


- Boy:
Somewhere!(and gives a kiss to her on the lips..)


- Girl:
Baby!...


The boy walks her to the place....


- Boy:
Ok...let me take the blindfold off.


- Girl:
Where are we??


He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at tat same spot....that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend......


- Girl:
Omg...!(tears come down)


- Boy:
Why are you crying?


- Girl:
This is where you first asked me out...


- Boy:
What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says 'Will you marry me?' in fireworks)


- Girl:
(tears come down faster)


- Boy:
I wasnt at work when you called me...I was planning this whole thing!


- Girl:
Get up!


- Boy:
Yeah?


- Girl:
(kisses him)


- Boy:
Is that a yes or a no?


- Girl:
Yes.

[lovely]

Why do guys fall in love with girls ?

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo.....

2. The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder....

3. How cute they look when they sleep....

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms....

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything
is right in the world......

6. How cute they are when they eat ......

7. The way they take hours to get dressed
but in the end it makes it all worth while.......

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.....

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear........

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth......

11. How cute they are when they argue….

12. The way her hand always finds yours….

13. The way they smile….

14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight.......

15. The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them.....

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"…

18. Actually ...
just the way they kiss you....:)

19. The way they fall into your arms
when they cry…

20. Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly.....

21. The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt.....

22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt......
(even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say
"I miss you".....

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling Only felt……

[lovely]

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.


A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..


A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!

Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigarh"

Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"


A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"


A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"

Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........


Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!

[lovely]

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly.God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.

[lovely]

Relation Ship in Our Life

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..


When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.


They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.



Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.


Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.


What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.




Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.


They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.


Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.




LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.


Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.


It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.





Thankyou for being a part of my life. . . . . ..


. . .. . . .. . whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

[lovely]

What Love means to a 4-8 year old.. .

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes..
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..'

Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night...'

Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

[lovely]

everything in this world can be seemed as u wish to, good or bad, simple or complicated, easy or difficult.. it s not how things are, it s about how u look up to them. and how u look up to them it s all up to u!

[lovely]

Where did the year go? Suddenly it is December......again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2008 is on its back!
A big "Thank You" to you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. without you, I'm sure that 2008 would have been extremely boring.
From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.
May 2009 mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, Happiness and Bright Futures.
And to those who need someone special, may you find that true love
To those who need money, may your finances overflow
To those who need caring, may you find a good heart
To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people
To those who need life, may you find GOD
Should you be driving during this time.....please take care!



Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year!!

[lovely]

Make up ur mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

Make the best out of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something Of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. the trick is To make the laughter outweigh the tears.

Don`t take urself too seriously. Don`t think that somehow u should be protected From misfortune that befails other people.

U can`t please everybody. Don`t let criticism worry u.

Don`t let ur neighbor set ur standards. Be urself.

Do the things u enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make u unhappy.

Have many interests. If u can`t travel, read about new places.

Don`t hold postmortems. Don`t spend ur time brooding over sorrows or mistake. Don`t be one who never gets over things.

Do what u can for those less fortunate than urself.

Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time To be unnhappy. :)

[lovely]

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging..

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).

[lovely]

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.....

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.