View Full Version : Nice and funny stories....
The first secret - the power of thought.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about.Loving
thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships.
Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and
others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and
desires. Thinking about your ideal partner
will help you recognize her when you meet her.
* The second secret - the power of respect.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The
first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain
self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain
respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself
"What do I respect about them?"
* The third secret - the power of giving.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love
you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself,
freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of
kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other
person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to
give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is
to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.
* The fourth secret - the power of friendship.
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not
consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward
together in the same direction. To love someone completelely you must love
them for who they are, not what they look like.
Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to
bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.
* The fifth secret - the power of touch.
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down
barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and
emotional states and makes us more receptive
to love.
* The sixth secret - the power of letting go.
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if
it doesn't it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their
own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and
let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears,
prejudices, egos and conditions."Today I let go of all my fears, the past
has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."
* The seventh secret - the power of communication.
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love
someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you
love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic
words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone.
Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last
time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls
to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say
and................ ...why are you waiting?
* The eighth secret - the power of commitment.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and
that commmitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions.
Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving
relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are
committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment
distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.
* The ninth secret - the power of passion.
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come
through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment,
enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by
recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and
surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same;
all we need to do is to live each day with passion.
* The tenth secret - the power of trust.
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person
becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped
and emotionally suffocated.
You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act
as if your relationship with the person you love will never end.
One of the way in which always you can tell whether a person is right for
you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If
the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.
The heart is the happiest when it beats for others.
Unconditional Love
(An Army Officer)
A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."
"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."
"There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."
"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."
"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."
"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."
At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.
The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.
Tonight, before you tuck yourself in for the night, say a little prayer that God will give you the strength you need to accept people as they are, and to help us all be more understanding of those who are different from us!!!
There's a miracle called Friendship That dwells in the heart You don't know how it happens Or when it gets started But you know the special lift It always brings And you realize that Friendship Is God's most precious gift!
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.
Nice story......
A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on
it, God had put all the human "qualities" in a separate room.
Since all the qualities were bored they decided to play hide & seek.
"Madness" was one of the qualities and he shouted: "I want to count, I
want to count!"
And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek "Madness", all the
other qualities agreed. So "Madness" leaned against a tree and started
to
count: "One, two,three..."
As "Madness" counted, the qualities went hiding.
"Treason" hid in a pile of garbage..
"Lie" said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of
the lake. And Madness continued to count "... seventy nine, eighty,
eighty one..." By this time, all the qualities were already hidden
except "Love ". For stupid as "Love" is, he could not decide where to
hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how
difficult it is to hide "Love".
"Madness": "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when
"Madness" got to one hundred........."Love" jumped into a rose bush
where he hid.
And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"
As Madness turned around, "Laziness" was the first to be found,
because "Laziness" was too lazy to hide. "Madness" searched madly and
found "Lie" at the bottom of the lake. One by one, Madness found them
all except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.
Envious of Love, "Envy" whispered to "Madness" "You only need to find
Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."
"Madness" Jumped on the rose bush and he heard loud cry. The thorns in
the bush had pierced "Loves" eyes. Hearing the commotion God came into
the room and saw what had happened. He got very angry and cursed
"Madness" and said since "Love" has become blind because of u ...u
shall always be with him" And so it came about that from that day on,"
Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness!
A Silent Love
From the very Beginning, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background,& that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.
Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"
As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.
After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"
The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.
The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.
One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......
The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.
During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.
With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....
The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.
With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.
When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.
U see we dnt know what our future holds...
sometimes its hard but later u realize watever happens happens 4 d best..
never b faint hearted or loose hope coz surely after every hardship there is
ease infact a better life to come......
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die? (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
1st woman: I froze to death. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
2nd woman: How horrible! (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I
Began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What
About you? (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
Husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
1st woman: So, what happened? (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that
I started running all over the house looking. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
I ran up into the attic
And searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every
Closet and checked under all the beds. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
I kept this up until I had
Looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
Keeled over with a heart attack and died. (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer (http://www.funlok.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1372)---we'd both still be
Alive.
When you ask GOD for a gift,
Be thank full if he sends you
Not diamonds..........
Not pearls............
Not riches............
But.....
The real 'LOVE' of people around you
With extra gifts...
Of trust and care,
Add up with honest and hopes!!
It's forever there.
Cry out the happy tears
Smile like a sunshine... 'glow'
You will be Blessed
For each and every soul.
The reason, is all in you
To see a beautiful love!
In every you, it holds!
The real love....of u!:smile:
Here With Me...
I'm thinking about you again.
I miss you badly
and wish you were here with me.
My soul knows no rest
even when I sleep,
because I dream about you
and imagine how great it would be
if you were here with me.
Without you,
I feel like a part of my heart is missing.
I'm in dire need of your tender love
and passionate kissing...
if only you were here with me.
Every day I tell myself to move on
with my life, and I try to pretend
that I'm happy,
but it's just not true.
I'm alone and blue,
because you're not here with me.
At night I get down on my knees
and pray for brighter days.
I know that the sunshine I need is on the way,
because someday you'll be here with me.
But until that day,
I'll never stop yearning for you,
and wishing that you were here to stay,
because I love you,
and I want you here with me.
A WOMAN OF STRENGTH....
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape ...
But a woman of strength keeps her soul in shape.
A strong woman is not afraid of anything...
But a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.
A strong woman will not let anyone get the best of her...
But a woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.
A strong woman does not like to make mistakes ...
A woman of strength realises that life's mistakes can also be blessings
A strong woman walks sure footedly...
But a woman of strength knows that when she falls, she will get up again.
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...
But a woman of strength wears grace.
A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...
But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will
become strong.
--
Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.Remember this always in life.
Be happy and take care of yourself
THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.
If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today !..
"And that person was me.".....
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, the beauty of a woman with passing years, only grows.
Dardan Kastrati
07-03-08, 12:16
Cka ke shkru more ketu ,, awwwww mu paske ba publiciste edhe ti .... te lumte qa ke shkru veq sen skam marre vesh aaaa ...
Women pump gas now
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
January 16, 1993
Escondido attorney Ben Echeverria filed a $2 million lawsuit in August against Texaco Inc. and a local gas station manager because station attendants were pumping gas for women at self-service prices, but not for men.
The station almost immediately stopped its practice and forced women to start pumping for themselves.
A Son's Bad Dream
A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his
son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that
Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the
man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son
that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the
man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that
he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he
is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is
scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at
every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my
entire life!
She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose
number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB". NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your r equirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations. .
RIGHT SPEECH !!!
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT ............ .
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever
I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mum
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mum
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mum,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.
Passwords are like underwear.....
Change yours often
Passwords are like underwear.....
Don't share them with friends.http://graphics.asiafriendfinder.com/images/common/chat/smilies/naughty.gif
Passwords are like underwear.....
The longer the better.http://graphics.asiafriendfinder.com/images/common/chat/smilies/big_smile.gif
Passwords are like underwear.....
Don't leave yours lying around.http://graphics.asiafriendfinder.com/images/common/chat/smilies/evil.gif
Passwords are like underwear.....
Be mysterious. http://graphics.asiafriendfinder.com/images/common/chat/smilies/shush.gif
5 Reasons Why God Uses Problems
The problems you face will either defeat you or develop
you - depending on how you respond to them.
Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to
use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their
problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.
Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:
1.God Uses Problems To DIRECT U
Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving.
Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change.
Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes
a painful situation to make us change our ways."
2. God Uses Problems To INSPECT U
People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them,
just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested
your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you?
"When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full
of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith,
and this will give you patience."
3. God Uses Problems To CORRECT U
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure.
It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove.
But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn
the value of something... health, money, a relationship. ..
by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me,
for it taught me to pay attention to your laws."
4. God Uses Problems To PROTECT U
A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from
being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend
was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss
had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but
it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year
later when management's actions were eventually discovered.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good...
5. God Uses Problems To PERFECT U
Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders.
God is far more interested in your character than your comfort.
Your relationship to God and your character are the only two
things you're going to take with you into eternity.
"We can rejoice when we run into problems...
they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of
character in us and helps us trust God more each time
we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."
Here's the point Ad:
God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it.
But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.
"Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned,
lives touched and moments shared along the way"
(http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/lovebeats)
The most destructive habit.........worry
The Greatest joy...................giving
The Greatest loss............loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work........Helping others
The Ugliest personality trait......selfishness
The most endangered species....Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource.....Our youth
The greates shot in the arm.......Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome.....Fear
The most effective sleeping pill..Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease...Excuses
The most powerful force in life......Love
The most dangerous pariah...........A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer..the Brain
The worst thing to be without............Hope
The deadliest weapon..................The tongue
The two most power-filled words.........."I can"
The greatest asset ......................Faith
The most worthless emotion............self-pity
The most beautiful attire.............SMILE
The most prized possession............Integrity
The most powerful communicaton channel..Prayer
The most contagious spirit............Enthusiasm
TO THE WORLD, YOU MAY BE ONE PERSON, BUT TO ONE PERSON YOU ARE THE WORLD!!
FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE TWO CLOCKS KEEPING THE SAME TIME!!!!! TAKE CARE MY FRIENDS!!
"FRIENDS FOREVER"
Many things I want to say
Even though you're far away
I have no clue where I should start
I wish we are never far apart.
In this poem of mine
I'm telling you,swearing on my life
The respect and love which I have for u
very true indeed....
Your friendship means the world to me.
Together till the end,
You and me will be friends.
We'll break our friendship never,
Together or apart we'll be friends forever.
Through good times and bad,
We'll never get mad.
Through old friends and new friends,
Our friendship never bends.
Eventhough we're changing,
Our friendship is never ending.
With broken hearts and many tears,
We've made it through these past many years.
Different in many ways,
More alike each passing day.
Our memories are the best,
It's our honesty we never test.
Helping each other out,
Always with no doubt.
We've always been eachother's better half,
No matter what.
When we hang together we have a full glass.
( full glass of strawberry milk,)
With good cheers'
Some laughter with great screams, as usual
Having friendship like yours is never "The End"
A treasure for me
You forever remain.
A Son's Bad Dream
A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his
son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that
Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the
man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son
that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the
man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that
he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he
is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is
scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at
every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my
entire life!
She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
e forte Egi!!!
A friend is one who sees
through YOU and still enjoys the view
A Nice Article By Swami Vivekananda...............
I once had a friend who grew to be very
close to me.
Once when we were sitting at the edge of a
swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with
some water and held it before me, and said this:
"You see this water carefully contained on
my hand? It symbolizes Love."
This was how I saw it:
As long as you keep your hand caringly open
and allow it to remain there, it will always be there.
However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it
and try to posses it,it will spill through the first
cracks it finds This is the greatest mistake that
people do when they meet love...they try to posses it,
they demand, they expect... and just like the water
spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from
you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change
its nature. If there are people you love, allow
them to be free beings.
Give and don't expect.Advise, but don't order.
Ask, but never demand.
It might sound simple, but it is a lesson
that may take a lifetime to truly practice. It is the
secret to true love. To truly practice it, you must
sincerely feel no expectations from those who you
love, and yet an unconditional caring."
Passing thought...
Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take; but by
the moments that take our breath
away.....
Life is beautiful!!!
Live it!!!
lookie look at our lovely love, she is that good in English
lookie look at our lovely love, she is that good in English
hah................:biggrin:
A blessing such as you my friend. True friendship is not seen with the eyes
it is felt with the heart.
When there is trust, understanding,loyality,and sharing.
True friendship is a rare feeling,bu t when it is found.
It has profound impect on our well -bing,strength and character
True friendship does not need elaborate gifts or spectacular events,inorder to be valuable or valued.
To ensure long lasting quality and satis fections.
True friendship only needs a few key ingredients.
Undying loyality,unmatched understanding,un surpassed trust,
Deep and soul ful secrets and endless sharing.
These ingredients mixed with personality and sense of humer can make a friendship last a life time
This just a THANK YOU my friends for all the wonderful and colourful special ingredients you have brought to my life
Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive, because your words become your actions.
Keep your actions positive, because your actions become your habits.
Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your lifestyle.
Keep your lifestyle positive, because your lifestyle becomes your destiny
~EIGHT LIES OF A MOTHER~
1.The story began when I was a child;
I was born as a son of a poor family.
Even for eating, we often got lack of food.
Whenever the time for eating, mother often gave me her portion of rice.
While she was removing her rice into my bowl,
she would say "Eat this rice, son. I'm not hungry".
That was Mother's First Lie
2.When I was getting to grow up,
the persevering mother gave her spare time
for fishing in a river near our house,
she hoped that from the fishes she got,
she could gave me a little bit nutritious food for my growth.
After fishing, she would cook the fishes to be a fresh fish soup,
which raised my appetite. While I was eating the soup,mother would sit beside me and eat the rest meat of fish,
which was still on the bone of the fish I ate.
My heart was touched when I saw it.
I then used my chopstick and gave the other fish to her.
But she immediately refused it and said "Eat this fish, son.
I don't really like fish."
That was Mother's Second Lie.
3.Then, when I was in Junior High School,
to fund my study,
mother went to an economic enterprise to bring some used-matches boxes that
would be stuck in.
It gave her
some money for covering our needs.
As the winter came,
I woke up from my sleep and looked at my mother who was still awoke,
supported by a little candlelight and within her perseverance she continued
the work of sticking some used-matches box.
I said, "Mother, go to sleep, it's late,
tomorrow morning you still have to go for work.
" Mother smiled and said "Go to sleep,
dear. I'm not tired."
That was Mother's Third Lie.
4.At the time of final term,
mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me.
While the daytime was coming and the heat of the sun was starting to shine,
the strong and persevering mother
waited for me under the heat of the sun's shine for several hours.
As the bell rang, which indicated that the final exam had finished,
mother immediately
welcomed me and poured me a glass of tea
that she had prepared before in a cold bottle.
The very thick tea was not as thick as my mother's love,
which was much thicker. Seeing my mother covering with perspiration,
I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too.
Mother said "Drink, son. I'm not thirsty!".
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.
5.After the death of my father because of illness,
my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent.
By held on her former job, she had to fund our needs alone.
Our family's life was more complicated. No days without sufferance.
Seeing our family's condition that was getting worse,
there was a nice uncle who lived near my house came to help us,
either in a big problem and a small problem.
Our other neighbors who lived next to us saw that
our family's life was so unfortunate,
they often advised my mother to marry again. But mother,
who was stubborn, didn't care to their advice,
she said "I don't need love."
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.
6.After I had finished my study and then got a job,
it was the time for my old mother to retire.
But she didn't want to; she was sincere to go to the marketplace every
morning,
just to sell some vegetable for fulfilling her needs.
I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help her in
fulfilling her needs,
but she was stubborn for not accepting the money.
She even sent the money back to me.
She said "I have enough money."
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.
7.After graduated from
Bachelor Degree,
I then continued my study to Master Degree.
I took the degree, which was funded by a company through a scholarship
program,
from a famous University in America.
I finally worked in the company. Within a quite high salary,
I intended to take my mother to enjoy her life in America.
But my lovely mother didn't want to bother her son,
she said to me "I'm not used to."
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.
8.After entering her old age,
mother got a flank cancer and had to be hospitalized.
I, who lived in miles away and across the ocean,
directly went home to visit my dearest mother.
She lied down in weakness on her bed after having an operation.
Mother, who looked so old, was staring at me in deep yearn.
She tried to spread her
smile on her face;
even it looked so stiff because of the disease she held out.
It was clear enough to see how the disease broke my mother's body,
thus she looked so weak and thin.
I stared at my mother within tears flowing on my face.
My heart was hurt, so hurt, seeing my mother on that condition.
But mother, with her strength, said "Don't cry, my dear.
I'm not in pain."
That was Mother's Eight Lie.
After saying her eighth lie, She closed her eyes forever!
"Everything is possible. Impossible just takes a little longer ....... "
TO BE 6 AGAIN
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed,
Observing his wife turning back
And forth, looking at her self in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off, he asked
What she'd like to have for her Birthday.
I'd like to be six again, she replied, still
Looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early,
Made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
And then took her to Six Flags
Theme park. What a day ! He put her on every
Ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... Everything
There was. Five hours Later they staggered out
Of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her
Stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he
Ordered her a Happy Meal with
Extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop,
And her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she
Wobbled home with her
Husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and
Lovingly asked, Well Dear,
What was it like being six again ??
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression
Suddenly changed.
I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is
Listening, he is going to get it wrong.
SEND THIS TO WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH..... AND TO
MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT................
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa
1. Give yourself permission to be human (http://www.funlok.com/). When we accept emotions -- such as fear, sadness, or anxiety -- as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.
2. Happiness lies at the intersection between (http://www.funlok.com/) pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.
3. Keep in mind that happiness (http://www.funlok.com/) is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?
4. Simplify ! We are (http://www.funlok.com/), generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.Read more articles : http://online-articles.org/happiness/site-map.php (http://online-articles.org/happiness/site-map.php)
5. Remember the mind-body connection (http://www.funlok.com/). What we do -- or don't do -- with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise,
Adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.
6. Express gratitude (http://www.funlok.com/), whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.
<IMG height=1 width=1>
__,_._,___ Lessons to Learn From Inspiring Story "Adjust To Life................"
A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." she offered.
"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."
The husband agreed, so each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.
"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your lists."
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.
"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.
---------------------------------------------
In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?
Every night when I close my eyes,
I drift to sweet dreams of you.
I imagine the taste of your lips,
the feel of your hands in mine,
and the softness of your hair
brushing against my cheek...
and suddenly I'm strong yet weak
from my need for you.
And when you hold me close,
and look into my eyes
as you whisper how much you love me,
I'm carried gently to the clouds.
Your love makes me feel
so alive and proud
of the person I am
when I'm with you.
Yet when the stars fade
as dawn breaks,
you kiss me goodbye at the door,
and I awake needing you even more
than I did the day before.
I'm missing you badly,
and I wish you were here.
But though you're far away,
in my heart you'll stay.
I'll never quit wishing
that you were here beside me,
but until that day,
I've only to dream about you,
and I escape to that place
in my heart,
where we're never apart.
Thinking Of A GIRL
When a GIRL is Quiet,
Millions of things are running in her Mind.
When a GIRL not Arguing,
She is thinking Deeply.
When a GIRL looks at you with eyes full of Questions,
She is wondering how long you will be Around.
When a GIRL answer '' I'm Fine'' after a few Seconds,
She is not at all Fine.
When a GIRL stares at You,
She wondering why you are Lying.
When a GIRL lays on your Chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers Forever.
When a GIRL call you Every Day,
She is seeking for your Attention.
When a GIRL sms's you Every Day,
She wants you to reply at lest Once.
When a GIRL says '' I Love You '',
She means It.
When a GIRL says that she can't live without You,
She has made up her mind that you are her Future.
When a GIRL says '' I Miss You '',
No one in this world can miss you more then Her.....!!!
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.
They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.
Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: 'Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '
Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: 'We had been to Simla for honeymoon after marriage.
Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.
My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.
Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said ' This is your first time'.
She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.
This time she again kept calm and said ' This is your second time' and continued.
When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy ?' ..
She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!! '.'
Husband:' That's it. We are happily married ever after.
Family Problems
Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
The Indian man said to the American,"You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.
We call this arranged marriage.I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."
The American said, "Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years.
"After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law.
My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson.
Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems.. ? !
This was a Real incident in New York....
An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan
officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need
some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the
keys of a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as
collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the
bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out
very nicely, but we are little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that u are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
just $5,000?"
The Indian replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for
two weeks for 15 bucks?"
"Indians don't do different things but they do things differently."
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner.....who lives with a
girl room mate Sunita.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice
how pretty Kumar's, room mate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate
than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are
just room mates."
About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney
jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I
doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact
remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner.
Love, Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which
read ;
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying
that you ?do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if
she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney
jar by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day : Don't Lie to Your Mother...........
Married 10 times but still a Virgin
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced
ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
"Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been
married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how
great it was going to be."
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how
it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get
back to me."
"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out
diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."
"Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the
order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."
"Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but
wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.?lt;br
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how, but he
wasn't sure whether it was his job or not"
"Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was
never sure how to position it."
"Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it."
"Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look."
"Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was..... God, I miss him!"
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"
"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
You're with the Government. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of whic h way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $500 0. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Lufthansa Airlines
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
captain:"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were
somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the
swimmers are on the right side of the plane.
After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating tocomply with the captain's request.
Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
captain once again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the
swimmers on the right side of the plane open your emergency exits and
quickly swim away from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You for
Flying Lufthansa- ".
Delta Airlines
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding
announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address
system saying,
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
from Gate 41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.
Not ten minutes later the public address v oice told us that Flight 570
would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our
carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank You
for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."
British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London .
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean , you will see a little
ye llow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your
captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses"
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very
interesting aspects of his life:
1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he
started too late!!!
2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering
newspapers.
3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha,
that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has
everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence
.
4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or
security people around him.
5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest
private jet company.
6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies.
He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies,
giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a
regular basis. He has given his CEO's only two rules.
Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder's money.
Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time
after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch
Television.
8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only
5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with
Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour.But
when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates
became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his
desk. His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards and invest in
yourself and Remember:
A. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money.
B. Live your life as simple as you are.
C. Don't do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel comfortable.
E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really
in need rather.
F. After all it's your life then why give chance to others to rule our life."
STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH
If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1....
If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...
If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...
If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...
If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...
If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6...
If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7...
If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...
If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...
Number 1
You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,
Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities,
Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people
Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under
Others, self confident people!
You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get
Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views
And you are most likely to take revenge over your
Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.
If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you.
You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and
Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard
To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be ha ted by some
People too...
Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner &
Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...
Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!
Number 2
No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the
Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot,
You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you
Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances,
Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.
Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect
Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a
Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).
If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can
Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your
Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge
You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any
Artistic business people!
You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get
Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole
Family.. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or
Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of
Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power
Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!
Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!
Number 3
You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious,
Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems
Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything..
You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always
You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order
To achieve something.. You will not get
Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger
Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them.
You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy
thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitud! e then
here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.
Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always
have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless
trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you
will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will
be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character
and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition
focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!
Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!
Number 4
You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important
matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might
put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man,
and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very
good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spen d most of the time after girl friends
(almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will
spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and
don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are
always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls..
You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example
you have got a degree in some thing.... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.
But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take
advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent,
a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...
Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!
Number 5
You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by
just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often
have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything
when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business,
get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are
the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually
get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship,
but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will
have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships!
Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along
with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom love rs you are! You are
an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!
Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!
Number 6
Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean
you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be
very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented,
kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very
beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in
your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.
You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of
looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl,
most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring
person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically
and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good
judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great
power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...
Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!!
Number 7
You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic,
very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education,
music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems
with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.
You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be
in the to p rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls,
you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.
Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the
standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking
for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue,
ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to
contribute lots to this world!!!
Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!
Number 8
You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will
understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what".
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good
you might lose either of your
parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.
The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will
learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight
for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of
friends and most of the time live life lonely and always
prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often
late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected
problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents. You are some one with
great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part
of a family team. You are a fighter!
Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!
Number 9
Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so
strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work
hard and hard to get there.
Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you
will have fighting life.. But when you
achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in
the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.
You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights
and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.
Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.
Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.
Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.
You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.
You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration
Number 6
Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean
you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be
very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented,
kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very
beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in
your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.
You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of
looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl,
most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring
person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically
and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good
judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great
power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...
:biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
CONFUSING ENGLISH
1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means to make horrible, does ter rific mean to Make
terrible?
8. Why is it called building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have
parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around Several times, does
he become disoriented?
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ???
13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading
this???
My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself.:tongue:
So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes:
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me." Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street. Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself.:tongue:
So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes:
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me." Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street. Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
Dear Ashly i really appreciate your consideration & participation in our forum. I'm looking forward in seeing you more often. Thankyou
Lovel, te dul zani edhe ne Amerike...Ahhahahahahaha
My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself.
So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes:
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me." Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street. Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
well hello Ashley...... and welcome to our forum!!:wink:
u see, Uliksi has gone crazy lately ... all he does is think of me hahahahahahahahaha
am trying to get him to marry me but he wont....:tongue:
all u gotta do is learn albanian and there is so much fun waiting for u here...now, thats not easy, so dont even start hahaha...
am glad u liked my jokes, urs was funny..:D:D:D.. now i know more about Bush :biggrin:
u r welcome to write jokes here as much as u want ;);)
hope to see u again Ashley.... i was gonna build u a room here, but i wasnt sure if u ever gonna come back :frown:
stay well dear,
take care
lovely
Lovel, te dul zani edhe ne Amerike...Ahhahahahahaha
po po zani i zi hahahahahahahahaha
mo more mos ma qit faqen e zeze, a pak m ka dal ktu a? ncncncncncncncnc
hey nime, mos fol ktu shqip, se per guhe t huja osht ktu :tongue:
t shnes fort o Uliksi :smile:
$20.00 BILL
Sometimes we just need to be
reminded!
A well-known speaker
started off his seminar by:
Holding up a $20.00
bill in the room of 200, he asked, 'Who would like this
$20 bill?
Hands started going up.
He said, 'I am going to give this
$20 to one of you
but first, let me
do this.
He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, 'Who
still wants it?'
Still the hands
were up in the air.
Well, he
replied, 'What if I do this?'
And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.
'Now, who still wants it?'
Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value.
It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,
we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt
by the decisions we make and
the circumstances that come
our way.
We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has
happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.
Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,
you are still
priceless to those who truly LOVE you.
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,
but by WHO WE ARE and
WHOSE WE ARE.
You are special
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've
been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me oryou
don't love me anymore; whatever! the case, I'm gone..
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &
griping. Too bad that doesn't work..
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought
us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
I hope that's not a problem.
Now this is real good one !!!!
This is one hell of a good one, u'll LOVE it!
This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is really funny.
Making a baby.
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now.
The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really? Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' said the photographer.
'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.
After a moment she asked, blushing,
'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.
'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my word!, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.
'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around by the dozens to get a good look'
By the dozens?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, And when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
'Tripod?!!!!'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted.....
Hope u liked the joke?
Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I
find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find'
button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'.. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not
provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates :
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
Woman Are Amazing
Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said,
"I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go
to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls,
took meat out of the freezer for supper the
following evening, checked the cereal box levels,
filled the sugar container,
put spoons and bowls on the table and
started the coffee pot for brewing the next
morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer,
put a load of clothes into the washer,
ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table,
put the phone back on the charger and
put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket
hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the
teacher,
counted out some cash for the excursion
pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed
and stamped the envelope
wrote a quick note for the grocery store.
She put both near her bag
Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser,
put on her Night Solution & age fighting
moisturizer,
brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and
put the cat outside,
then made sure the doors were locked and patio light
was on.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out
their bedside lamps and radios,
hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the
hamper,
had a brief conversation with the one up still doing
homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm;
laid out clothing for the next day,
straightened up the shoe rack.
She added three things to her 6 most important
things to do list.
She said her prayers,
and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced
to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did...without another thought .
Anything extraordinary here?
Wonder why women live longer...?
'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...... (and
they can't die sooner, they still have things to
do!!!!)
By all Means... MARRY!
DavidBissonette
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Anonymous I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
The Good Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker,
but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't
even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he
was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of
water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye
staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices
a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in
lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get
groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your
mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and
then you pu ked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door "
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such
perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is
on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Officials rejected a candidate for a news broadcasters post since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster.
He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous.
He is Amitabh Bachchan.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company.
The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like! their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group was called The Beatles.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency
told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married".
She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -------
In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck".
He went on to become Elvis Presley.
-- - ------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
A small boy--the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living.
He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets. The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule.
He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India single-handedly.
He is Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. President of India.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers.
After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?"
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb,
he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work.
A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times.
He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb.
It just happened to be a 2000-step process".
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in
the country.
They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections, he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company, to purchase the rights to his invention--an electrostatic
paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox Corporation.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
A little girl--the 20th of 22 children,
was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever,
which left her with aparalyzed left leg.
At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner.
She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. >From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl--
Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -
A schoolteacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life.
The boy was Albert Einstein
Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." Remember this always in life.
Lessons in Logic
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
............................
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
.....................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice
...................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
..............................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
........................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
.........................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.................................................. ....
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
.................................................. .......
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.................................................. .......
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.................................................. ...
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
.............................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
..............................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
.............................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
..........................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
.........................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
What's Love Got to do With it?
Every Cinderella longs to find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after.
We all want to fall in love. Why?
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive.
Our emotions get magnified, senses get heightened,
and we are flying in seventh heaven.
It may only last a moment, an hour,
a day, but that doesn't diminish its value....
But are you sure it's love that we are talking about?
Why do independent, smart women become
emotional wrecks after a romantic break-up?
Why do older men gravitate towards younger women?
Could it be estrogen and testosterone hormones
that addict us to our lovers?
In terms of mature relationships and love,
most of the times, people fail to distinguish
between the true meaning of love and lust.
Have you ever been sweeped off your feet by a man/woman
standing next to you in a queue?
Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love - the real thing?
Is Cupid playing a prank or bringing you true love forever?
Love at first sight is not believable.
Love takes time.
Lust at first sight sounds much more accurate.
A study done by testing the blood samples of twenty couples,
who claimed to be madly in love for less than six months,
revealed that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent
to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsiv e Disorder patients.
It's hard to tell if you are in love because there're no set
defining characteristics of love.
The dictionary says it's
"a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection"
or
"a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person."
What exactly is this feeling or attraction?
The question evoked the thought process was surprised that
i had never thought of this aspect of her relationship before.
After much silence she concluded,
"Emotions are not sufficient to suggest whether a relationship is that of love,
no matter how strong the attraction may be."
Sadly, there is not muc h awareness to distinguish between lust and love
and that is why we have so many emotional and social problems.
Since time immemorial we are hearing that love is blind.
But that's a mistake; real love is not blind.
Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness.
Over time, through good communication and wisdom,
you can start knowing your partner.
Gradually, you become aware of his/her flaws
and try to work your differences in a healthy way.
Lust, on the other hand, could be perceived
as being "blind" as it usually distorts reality,
especially when you're so involved that you don't care
to find out the real persona of your partner.
According toa psychologist,
we often idolize our partners,
magnify their virtues and find a way to explain their flaws.
This basically happens because many movies,
books and songs paint an unrealistic portrait of love,
which further builds a false perception of love in our minds.
When, a commercial pilot by profession,
was asked whether his six-year-old relationship was based
on love or lust, he was quick to reply,
"Love is full of sacrifices, trust and respect whereas
lust is built on physical attraction, fun and thrills.
Real love is commitment.
I cannot categorize my relationship
as a short sensational affair of love is in the air."
Do some real soul searching today and identify your relationship.
If you're in a relationship which does not have fondness,
respect, affection, devotion along with passion,
it would be wise to back off.
Or else, one day those wonderful romantic feelings will be gone
and you will wonder what happened to your perfect romance.
Accept the fact that you or your partner is not ready for commitment.
After all, commitment is a choice
which is backed up with actions and maturity.
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says ''Dark in here''
The man says ''Yes'' it is.
Boy - I have a baseball.
Man - That's nice.
Boy - Want to buy it ??
Man - No thanks.
Boy - My dad's outside.
Man - OK how much ??
Boy - $150
Man - Sold.
In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - ''Dark in here"
Man - ''Yes'' it is.
Boy - I have a Wilson infielder's glove.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much ??
Boy - $350
Man - Highway robbery. Sold..
A few days later, the father says to the boy, Grab your gloves,let's go outside and have a game of catch.
The boy says, ''I can't'' I sold my ball and my glove.
The father asks, How much did you sell them for?
The boy says, $500
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, ''Dark in here''
The priest says, Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now.
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
>From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
1 Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
I only know of one couple that fits to a 't' and they've been married
over
70 years... gives the rest of us a challenge .doesn't it?
Fluffy of the Day - Before you start reading get a box of kleenex
handy -
a
real tearjerker
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year.'
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass
away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it
was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would
explain,
Why would someone do this to her,
causing her such pain?
'I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,'
The owner said, 'I knew you'd call,
and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in
advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...
he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out
that he's no longer here,
that's the card that should be sent
to you the following year.'
She thanked him and hung up the phone,
her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached
To get the
card.
Inside the card, she saw that
he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
'Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard
for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made
everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses
will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the
happiness,
That we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you
and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not
answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him.
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Life is..
Life is an oppotrunity, benefit it
Life is beauty, admire it
Life is bliss, taste it
Life is dream,realize it
Life is a challenge, meet it
Life is duty, complete it
Life is a game, play it
Life is a promise, fulfill it
Life is sorrow, overcome it
Life is a struggle, accep it
Life is a tragedy, confront it
Life is an adventure, dare it
Life is luck,make it
Life is too precious, do not destroy it
Life is life, fight for IT!
Mother Teresa
So it was their 7th month anniversary and the girl calls her boyfriend:
-Girl:
I love you.
- Boy:
Yeah I know everyone does!
-Girl:
Really?
- Boy:
Yeah...everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday.
- Girl:
Oh...but am I only your friend?
- Boy:
No...you're my girlfriend...why?
- Girl:
So when I say I love you I really do mean it.
- Boy:
Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.
- Girl:
..........
- Boy:
So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th month anniversary?
- Girl:
Yeah...where?
- Boy:
I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?
-Girl:
Ok.
- Boy:
Ill pick you up after I get off and get ready ok?
- Girl:
Ok. What time do you get off?
- Boy: In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 minutes...
-Girl:
hey...I thought you didnt have work today...
- Boy:
One of my co-workers called in sick.
- Girl:
Oh okay! So sill see you around 7:30 then?
- Boy:
Yeah! and babe?
- Girl:
Yeah?
- Boy:
I love you.
- Girl:
I love you too!
- Boy:
Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.
- Girl:
Ok bye.
- Boy:
Bye.
************************************************** *****
2 hours later...
The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings the doorbell....
- Girl:
Hey!(gives a kiss to her boyfriend)
- Boy:
Wadssup.....you ready?
- Girl:
Um...wait...let me get my bag and we can go ok?
- Boy:
Ok.
They both watched a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating, they headed back to the car but before she got into the car.......
- Boy:
Wait! Can I blindfold you?
- Girl:
Why??!?
- Boy:
Its a surprise.
- Girl:
What kinda surprise??
- Boy:
A big one.
- Girl:
Okay but only if you promise me tat you will hold my hand while we're driving...
- Boy:
I promise.
- Girl:
Ok blindfold me.....
So they drove off.........and then they stopped....
- Boy:
Ok we're here!!
-Girl:
Where??
- Boy:
Wait let me walk you to the place!
- Girl:
What place??
- Boy:
Somewhere!(and gives a kiss to her on the lips..)
- Girl:
Baby!...
The boy walks her to the place....
- Boy:
Ok...let me take the blindfold off.
- Girl:
Where are we??
He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at tat same spot....that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend......
- Girl:
Omg...!(tears come down)
- Boy:
Why are you crying?
- Girl:
This is where you first asked me out...
- Boy:
What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says 'Will you marry me?' in fireworks)
- Girl:
(tears come down faster)
- Boy:
I wasnt at work when you called me...I was planning this whole thing!
- Girl:
Get up!
- Boy:
Yeah?
- Girl:
(kisses him)
- Boy:
Is that a yes or a no?
- Girl:
Yes.
Why do guys fall in love with girls ?
Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo.....
2. The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder....
3. How cute they look when they sleep....
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms....
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything
is right in the world......
6. How cute they are when they eat ......
7. The way they take hours to get dressed
but in the end it makes it all worth while.......
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.....
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear........
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth......
11. How cute they are when they argue….
12. The way her hand always finds yours….
13. The way they smile….
14. The way you feel when you see their name
on the call ID after you just had a big fight.......
15. The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them.....
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"…
18. Actually ...
just the way they kiss you....:)
19. The way they fall into your arms
when they cry…
20. Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly.....
21. The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt.....
22. Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt......
(even though we don't admit it)!
23. The way they say
"I miss you".....
24. The way you miss them
25. The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling Only felt……:smile:
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- " B.COM (http://b.com/)from Khalsa college, Chandigarh"
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it.
:smile: :smile:
Relation Ship in Our Life
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thankyou for being a part of my life. . . . . ..
. . .. . . .. . whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
What Love means to a 4-8 year old.. .
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes..
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:
'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..'
Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night...'
Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8
And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
everything in this world can be seemed as u wish to, good or bad, simple or complicated, easy or difficult.. it s not how things are, it s about how u look up to them. and how u look up to them it s all up to u!
Where did the year go? Suddenly it is December......again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2008 is on its back!
A big "Thank You" to you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. without you, I'm sure that 2008 would have been extremely boring.
From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.
May 2009 mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, Happiness and Bright Futures.
And to those who need someone special, may you find that true love
To those who need money, may your finances overflow
To those who need caring, may you find a good heart
To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people
To those who need life, may you find GOD
Should you be driving during this time.....please take care!
Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year!!
Make up ur mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best out of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something Of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. the trick is To make the laughter outweigh the tears.
Don`t take urself too seriously. Don`t think that somehow u should be protected From misfortune that befails other people.
U can`t please everybody. Don`t let criticism worry u.
Don`t let ur neighbor set ur standards. Be urself.
Do the things u enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make u unhappy.
Have many interests. If u can`t travel, read about new places.
Don`t hold postmortems. Don`t spend ur time brooding over sorrows or mistake. Don`t be one who never gets over things.
Do what u can for those less fortunate than urself.
Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time To be unnhappy. :)
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging..
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
panta_rhei
22-07-10, 22:26
A Typical Internet Conversation between an Albanian, a Greek, and a Serb.
[[Albania|Bloody_Alboooz932]]: fukk ure mam u greek pice of shiiit, yurr country is burning hahahhaa
[[Greece|Achilles33-bigdick]]: albanians re soo fuckin gay omg.. dude i fuckd ur mom last nite you fuckin slave
Bloody_Alboooz932: i fukkd ur mam nd sister
Achilles33-bigdick: my dad fuckd ur cousin u homo
Bloody_Alboooz932: omfg uve so tiny pennnis...i fukk everithink that walks
Achilles33-bigdick has disconnected.
[[Serbia|SerbskiPlayboy19]] is now online.
Bloody_Alboooz932: hey pice of shiiit did ur dad fukk u lst night?
SerbskiPlayboy19: ALBANIAN DUMMFUCK..FUCK ALBANIA KOSOVO IS SERBIA!!!
Bloody_Alboooz932: i fukkd ur mam nd sister nd cousin lst night
SerbskiPlayboy19: UR ARE BLAKK anD GAY And FUcK eech ather, KOSOVO IS SERBIA!!!
Bloody_Alboooz932: fukkin racist i fukkd ur mam lst night...
There was an Italian immigrant man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his Italian wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me..." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, (what else), and her best friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertaker got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertaker locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an Italian Catholic & I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in the casket with him.." You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, I wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it." AMEN!
THE DOLL
I was walking around in a Wal Mart store, when I saw a Cashier hand this
little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old..
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this
doll..'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you
sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy
this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look
around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand..
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this
doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all,
and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where
she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to
my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this.. 'My Sister has gone to be with
God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought
that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not
to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then
told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says
that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!''
OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his
without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll
and even some spare money..
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep
for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy
could give it to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but
I didn't dare to ask God for too much.. But He gave me enough to buy the
doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket
I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I
started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned
a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little
girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to
recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news
paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to
the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and
make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand
with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for
ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is
still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from
him.
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires
out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the
country from one end to the other, and with the threat of swine flu and
terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the
Pledge of Allegiance?'
IF.....
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
I will tell a funny short story !
One of my friends tolled me in this days...
Little boy asks dad
''What's between mum's legs?''
Father answers ''Paradaise* my son.
Kid asks again*
''what's between your legs?''
Father replise!''the key to paradaise!''
The son says''Pliece of advice dad*
change the lock* that twat next doors
got a spare key!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahah.
After a day long bus tour, I went out for a drink. I sat on a bar and ordered a beer. A cold beer in the hot evening is the thing. People everywhere, happy people, holding hands, talking, laughing, people in love, kissing, the one admiring their children, playing with them, having fun, a lot of fun..
I sat there, with my beer and my cigarettes on the table.
To make the evening better, there was this blonde sunburned, quiet good looking guy, singing country music. "On the road again.. " was one of his songs...
But hey, noone of this wld`ve had any sense at all, if there wasn`t sitting two of my most favourite people in the world, right besides me.
Enjoy ur moments, folks.
The small ones!
:)
This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the Japan Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.
With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman could be still alive. However, the cold and stiff body told him that she had passed away for sure.
He and the rest of the team left this house and were going to search the next collapsed building. For some reasons, the team leader was driven by a compelling force to go back to the ruin house of the dead woman. Again, he knelt down and used his had through the narrow cracks to search the little space under the dead body. Suddenly, he screamed with excitement,” A child! There is a child! “
The whole team worked together; carefully they removed the piles of ruined objects around the dead woman. There was a 3 months old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother’s dead body. Obviously, the woman had made an ultimate sacrifice for saving her son. When her house was falling, she used her body to make a cover to protect her son. The little boy was still sleeping peacefully when the team leader picked him up.
The medical doctor came quickly to exam the little boy. After he opened the blanket, he saw a cell phone inside the blanket. There was a text message on the screen. It said,” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” This cell phone was passing around from one hand to another. Every body that read the message wept. ” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” Such is the mother’s love for her child!!
I was a freshman in high school, and one day I saw a kid from my class was walking home. It looked like he was carrying all his books. I thought to myself, why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd. I had planned a pretty good weekend (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged and walked on.
When I went there, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his hands and kicked his legs from under him so he landed in the dirt. He lost his glasses and I saw they landed about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. I felt really sorry for him, so I ran over to him.
... ... ...
... As he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw tears in his eyes. When I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They should have had a beating!"
... ... ... ...
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" It was a big smile on his face.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. It turned out he lived near me so I asked him why I had not seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. My friends thought the same.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books. I stopped him and said,
For a type you are, you're going to build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next 3 years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think in high school, Kyle decided to go to high school general, and I was thinking Handel. I knew we would always be friends, and the miles would never be a problem. He wanted to be a doctor, and I thought the business and to concentrate on football. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him that he was a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it was not me having to get up and speak.
On graduation day, I saw Kyle, he looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more girls than me, and the girls loved him. Uh! Sometimes I was jealous.
Today was one of those days. I could see he was nervous in connection with the speech he was holding. So I gave him a pat on the shoulder and said, "Hey, big guy, this is great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled, "Thanks!" he said.
When he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began ...
- "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach, but most of all .... Your friends. I'm here to tell you that to be a friend to someone is the greatest gift you can give them. I'll tell you a story ...."
I looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker at school, so her mother would not have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked directly at me and gave me a small smile. - "Fortunately, and in gratitude, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable ..."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his father and mother looked at me with that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. - "With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. We are all given to influence each other in some way. Look for the good in others!"
The house at the beach, had a lot of big windows.
Inside that house, lived love and death!
It was wonderful watching the waves every now and then. Sometimes in the evenings, they used to sit on the beach, playing cards. Some other times, they just sat there, and ejnoyed the ocean. The ocean can cure- they heard.
To them, the ocean gave love. You should`ve seen that kind of love. That kind of love, when you do not want the other person any more, but the one, where you want what`s best for the other one. You know the "one in a million" kind of love.
But, death was near by. It did sneak somehow. Yea. Like it always does.
I have seen that look in those eyes. I have seen that pain through those tears. I was there. That`s how i learned what love is. That`s where i have seen real love!
They fighted death. They did everything they could. I gotta tell you, they lost the battle...
Tonight, the subject is death!
You might say; Again?
Well, it is a part of us. It is the only thing that is certain.
What makes me think so much of death?- you might be wondering.
Well, everytime it comes around sneaking and takes someone away from us.
Someone we know, or someone we don`t.
Some genius or just a poor neighbour.
Some child out there somewhere, or someone i met on a internet.
Someone of my people or many people from a bomb explosion,
Noe i`ve said that i`m used to death now. I`ve seen the face of death so many times.
I would like to share one experience with you.
At work, this man came in. He rode to the hospital.
After a day of examination , the doctor came in, and told him;
You have got this awful disease. There is no healing. So what we are gonna do with you, is that we are gonna stop giving you anything at all, beacuse you are not going to get well. Now, it is only going one way. You are going to die tomorow.
I`ll never forget the look on this man`s face. He swallowed once, closed his eyes, and whispered; it`s ok.
I couldn`believe my own ears. I ran out, went to the toilet, and i cried like a child.
They stopped giving him anything. Even food.
Later on that day, i asked him if he was hungry. Yes - he replayed.
I took a bowl of soup and a glass of juise, I sat next to his bed and fed him.
We talked about life. I never mentioned once the death. I asked him a lot of question. The one with happy answeres. I wanted him to remember only his good and happy times.
When we were done, and before i left, i asked him; How are you doing?
He looked at me for a while and said; I am good when you are here!
The look on his face while saying that, i will never forget that either!
Next time i went to job, he was gone..
I missed you tonight. That made me wanna see your pictures.
So that`s exactly what i did.
You look so alive, darling. All those times, we spent together, comes and goes life a flash before my eyes. I remembered when you just sat there, stared at me, and said nothing at all.. I now know that that`s when you said most..
You left really early, leaving this huge emptyness behind you.
What do i do with that?
They say; time heals. I am not so sure about that.
Life goes on. We keep doing everything, just like before, but this empty feeling in this empty room, is eating my heart up, from inside.
Just wanted to let you know, you are being missed.
yNeZ-1ExZdQ
See me through my mum`s eyes!
My mum told me that I'm the best gift she`s got in her life. She has also said that every time she wakes up in the morning, I'm the first thing that comes to her mind and then she gets happy in her heart and feel very lucky because she has me. There's plenty more she has said but I will not say it all because it takes many many pages .. And every time she says things like that to me I get sooo happy and smiles a big smile.
I'm only 6 years old and I am in first grade. I am fortunate to have a teacher that I like and think she is really good. We are a lot of 6-7 year olds in our class. We're very different, but most of us are very curious and ask a whole lot. Sometimes we forget to raise our hand as well. At times we may be troubled. I am aware that it can sometimes be a bit too much for our teacher. Just because she can not respond to 15 six-year-olds at the same time.
Because of that, I will gladly help you to help us so we all have a good day.
-As I said many times now, I'm 6 years. I like attention and it does not hurt with a whole lot of love either! I need it. That is also a need No. 3 on the pyramid Maslow made the long, long time ago.
- And love , i find it in a lot of things, but most of all in the way you talk to me. I can not explain exactly how, but I notice it. I find love in the way you come to me and help me when i need your help. When you caress my hair, my hand or my back. When you take the time to talk with me about things that are not important to you at all but you do it for my sake. Now, I know we are many children, you have a job to do and you can not do all these things with me all day, but once in a while. It does not take long and it makes me feel I am being seen and heard. I like it when adults say something nice to me. Imagine if all adults had thought about it and said something nice to us every day, then I think we had lived on it all day. It doesn`t need to be much, but such small things as: how nice your hair looks today, cool sweater you had, so good you were at this and that .., it takes what? 4 seconds to say it to each of us, and together let's say it takes 4-5 minutes a day. But it enhances everything we do throughout the day.
I have heard the adults say, It's much better to prevent than to cure.
- It also happens that I do things I should not, things that are not so nice to do, even stupid things. Sometimes I do it just for fun, I think it's fun because some of my friends laugh at it and then I think, they liked it, they'll like me and they are going to want to play with me even more if I'm doing even crazier things, and so it happens that someone gets hurt because of what I have done. Then I being approached. Perhaps it would have been a good idea that they were trying to find out first what the real reason was for what happened, also work with it instead of being angry and "attack" me. Because sometimes I think just to play and it happens accidentally. Do not think that I want others to get hurt because of me. I would never hurt anyone intentionally. On the contrary, I like to help others. I also like it when the adults ask me to do things because then I know they have confidence in me. We are learning to be confident in ourselves, so things can also happen if there are such situations where I do not know quite what to do. (Uncertainty, insecurity).
It would also be nice if they were a little more patient with me because I can not quite put into words everything. When they ask "why" , I do not know quite what to say and I have to say anything since they ask so many times, and then it's easy to say "because". Then, you know, they become a little irritated. That is when i feel that the whole world is against me, I feel like I just do stupid things, that I am mean.
I feel I must since everyone around me expects it .. ("Children lives up to expectations"). I become sad if I get "shut up" in front of my friends. They use it against me later on and I get blamed for everything. Even when I'm not to the place at all. It makes me feel pain inside me.
-I am trying to learn to think about the consequences of what I do before I do it, but sometimes I forget it. And when that happens I would like you to remind me of it, in a friendly way. That is when it enters, othervise when adults are "attacking" me, then I feel that they do not understand me, and it is so easy for me to take on the sassy-cool mask. That's when the alarm turns on inside my head and then I hear nothing of what they say. So it does not help me much. Sometimes you know when there are small things, so it is perhaps a little idea to try to ignore it. Collusion is not so stupid maybe, like eks. if I get very restless in class, we can have an agreement that I go out and run a lap around the school so that I get to use some of my energy, because you know I have a lot of energy and I would like to use it properly way, but then I need the help of adults, in that way it is not beyond all others around me.
-Please, I am learning in this world, think of it, I can a loooot less than a drop. ("What we know is just a drop, what we don` t is an ocean, "Isaac Newton.)
-I am sure you know all this, I will just remind you of it, exactly the same way how I need to be reminded of things every time it needed, until one day when I will be a big boy and be proud of all who have taught me, among others my first teacher.
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Leo Buscaglia.
Nice and funny?
Wouldn`t call it only that anylonger, but.. Ok.
Is it the drinking? Dancing? The music? Fun?
I`m having contact with those amazing feelings..
I think i better be back, so i don`t say anything i shouldn`t. ;D
While his wife is out,a man decides to paint their wooden toilet seat.The wife comes home earlier than he expected,runs in for a pee and gets the toilet seat stuck to her arse.She's really pissed off and demands her husband drive her to the doctors.
She steps out of her knickers and puts on a large overcoat to cover the seat and when they get to the doctors,the husband lifts the back of the coat,shows him his wife's arse and says to the doctor, "Have you ever seen anything like this?"
"Well,yes I have."replies the doctor."But not framed!"
A TRUE STORY AND CONSIDER THIS IN THE UPCOMING NEW YEAR!
I went to the party and remembered what you said. You asked me not to drink alcohol. So I drank a Sprite. I felt proud of myself, as you said I should feel. You said I should not drink and drive, contrary to what some friends told me. I made a healthy choice and your advice was correct, as all you give me forever.
When the party finally ended, people began to drive without being able to do so. I went to my car with the certainty that he would return home in peace. I never imagined what awaited me, Mom. Now I'm lying in the street and I hear the policeman say: "The kid that caused this accident was drunk." Mom, his voice seems so distant. My blood is spilled everywhere and I'm trying with all my might not moan. I can hear the doctors say, "This girl is going to die." I have the certainty that the young man, who ran at full speed, decided to drink and drive, and now I have to die.
Why do people do this, Mom, knowing that this is going to ruin many lives? The pain is cutting me like a hundred knives. Tell my sister not to cry, tell Daddy to be strong. And when I go to heaven, I'll be watching for you all. Someone should have taught that boy is wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents would have said, I would not be dying now. My breath is getting weaker, more and more. Mom, these are my last moments and I feel so desperate. I wish I could hug Mom, while I'm lying here dying. I wish I could tell you how much I love you, Mom. So .. I love ... y. .. goodbye ... "
(These words were written by a reporter who witnessed the accident).
Husband walks in and sees his wife watching a cooking show and says "why are you watching that? You can't cook!"
She replies "Well you watch porn, don't you?!" :tongue::biggrin:
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman and started canvassing her neighbour-hood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes ."
A short time later, the blonde handy-woman came to the door to collect her money. "You finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added ...........
"it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi.!!!
Joke :biggrin:
Let us talk.
I know, a single word says nothing at all
but a single word, can say everything.
Still, let`s talk!
About life`s biggest question
about the rain on your face
about unimportant stones
about your wings in my eyes.
Stop!
Let`s light up another cigarette..
Dardanesha
09-10-12, 09:23
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman and started canvassing her neighbour-hood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes ."
A short time later, the blonde handy-woman came to the door to collect her money. "You finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added ...........
"it's not a Porch -- it's an Audi.!!!
Joke :biggrin:
:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
Great minds fuck each-other ¡¡
On January 9th, a group of bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge . So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, got off his Harley, walked through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and said, "What are you doing?"
She said, "I'm going to commit suicide."
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. It was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After they finished, George got approval from his biker-buddies, and the onlookers and said to her, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had honey! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
Dardanesha
06-11-12, 14:42
Wrong email address:
A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.
Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
I WISH YOU ENOUGH.
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said:
"I love you and I wish you enough."
...
The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and the daughter left.
The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?"
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory,
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."
She then began to cry and walked away.
- Author Unknown
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