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Titulli: nice and funny stories
[B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second
richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. Here are some very interesting aspects of his life: [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]1. He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]2. He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]3. He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]. 4. He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]5. He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]6. His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] regular basis. He has given his CEO's only two rules. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder's money. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]7. He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch Television. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]8. Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour.But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]9. Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk. His advice to young people: "Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself and Remember: A. Money doesn't create man but it is the man who created money. B. Live your life as simple as you are. C. Don't do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good. D. Don't go on brand name; just wear those things in which u feel comfortable. E. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [LEFT][B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] in need rather. F. After all it's your life then why give chance to others to rule our life." [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/LEFT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[U][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B][FONT=Verdana]STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH[/FONT][/B][/COLOR] [/SIZE][/COLOR][/U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]
[B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1.... If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2... If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3... If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4... If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5... If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6... If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7... If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8... If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B]Number 1 [/B] [/SIZE][/COLOR][B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under Others, self confident people! You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views And you are most likely to take revenge over your Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be ha ted by some People too... Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner & Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original... Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/B] [FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B][COLOR=#c00000] [/COLOR][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B]Number 2[/B] No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication. Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home). If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people! You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole Family.. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!! Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!![/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B]Number 3[/B] [/SIZE][/COLOR][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B]You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything.. You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order To achieve something.. You will not get Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them. You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitud! e then here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others. Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!! [/B][B]Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!![/B][/SIZE][/COLOR] [B][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]Number 4[/B] You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spen d most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls.. You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing.... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs. But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent, a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order... Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!![/COLOR] [/SIZE][/B] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Number 5
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships! Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom love rs you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!! Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!! [B]Number 6[/B] Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further... Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Number 7[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above. You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be in the to p rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls, you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life. Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!! Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!! [B]Number 8[/B] You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what". You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life. The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents. You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!! Number 9 Hey...you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work hard and hard to get there. Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off. You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children. Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice. You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[B][SIZE=2]Number 6
Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...[/SIZE][/B] :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[CENTER][FONT=Courier New][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][B][U]CONFUSING ENGLISH[/U][/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][B]1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?[/B] [/SIZE][/COLOR][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=3]2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? 4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. If horrific means to make horrible, does ter rific mean to Make terrible? 8. Why is it called building when it is already built? 9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have parking lots? 11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around Several times, does he become disoriented? 12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ??? 13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself.:tongue: So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes: [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush agrees. "He really [I]is[/I] a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."[/SIZE][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[quote=ashley]My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself.:tongue: So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes: [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush agrees. "He really [I]is[/I] a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."[/SIZE][/FONT][/quote] Dear Ashly i really appreciate your consideration & participation in our forum. I'm looking forward in seeing you more often. Thankyou |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
Lovel, te dul zani edhe ne Amerike...Ahhahahahahaha
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Titulli: nice and funny stories
[quote=ashley]My name is Ashley,
I'm Uliksi's friend and neighbor. He always talks about this forum, especially about the nickname Lovely. I also recall hearing him stating that you are very funny and loveable,I wish i could speak the albanian language just to understand what 's going on because i see him laughing to himself. So let me say one joke and add onto your so many beautiful jokes: [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=4]George Bush agrees. "He really [I]is[/I] a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."[/SIZE][/FONT][/quote] well hello Ashley...... and welcome to our forum!!:wink: u see, Uliksi has gone crazy lately ... all he does is think of me hahahahahahahahaha am trying to get him to marry me but he wont....:tongue: all u gotta do is learn albanian and there is so much fun waiting for u here...now, thats not easy, so dont even start hahaha... am glad u liked my jokes, urs was funny..:D:D:D.. now i know more about Bush :biggrin: u r welcome to write jokes here as much as u want ;);) hope to see u again Ashley.... i was gonna build u a room here, but i wasnt sure if u ever gonna come back :frown: stay well dear, take care lovely |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[quote=uliksi31-jr.]Lovel, te dul zani edhe ne Amerike...Ahhahahahahaha[/quote]
po po zani i zi hahahahahahahahaha mo more mos ma qit faqen e zeze, a pak m ka dal ktu a? ncncncncncncncnc hey nime, mos fol ktu shqip, se per guhe t huja osht ktu :tongue: t shnes fort o Uliksi :smile: |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[B][U][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]$20.00 BILL[FONT=Tahoma][/FONT]
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][I][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Sometimes we just need to be [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/I][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Georgia][B][I]reminded![/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A well-known speaker [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]started off his seminar by:[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Holding up a $20.00 [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]bill in the room of 200, he asked, 'Who would like this [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] $20 bill? [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Hands started going up. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He said, 'I am going to give this [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]$20 to one of you [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]but first, let me [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]do this. [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I].[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He then asked, 'Who [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]still wants it?' [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Still the hands [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]were up in the air. [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Well, he [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]replied, 'What if I do this?' [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Now, who still wants it?' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Still the hands went into the air. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2]My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. [/SIZE][/COLOR][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black] It was still worth $20. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Many times in our lives, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2]we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come [/SIZE][/COLOR][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]our way. [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2]We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has [/SIZE][/COLOR][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]you are still [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][I][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]priceless to those who truly LOVE you. [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]but by WHO WE ARE and [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I]WHOSE WE ARE.[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][I] [/I][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/CENTER] [CENTER][B][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B] [I][I][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]You are special[/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][I][FONT=Georgia][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Georgia][B][I] [/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][/CENTER][/CENTER] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me oryou don't love me anymore; whatever! the case, I'm gone.. Your EX-Husband P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Now this is real good one !!!! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]This is one hell of a good one, u'll LOVE it![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is really funny.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [U]Making a baby.[/U][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The man should be here soon.' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Have you really? Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' said the photographer. 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=#000080][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=4] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my word!, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around by the dozens to get a good look' By the dozens?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, And when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Tripod?!!!!'[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand for very long.' [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Mrs. Smith fainted.....[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Hope u liked the joke?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=red][B]Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][B]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=red]Subject: Problems with my new computer Dear Mr. Bill Gates,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/B] [B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=#3366ff][B]We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]1. There is a button '[COLOR=red]start[/COLOR]' but there is no '[COLOR=red]stop[/COLOR]' button. We request you to check this. 2. We find there is '[COLOR=red]Run[/COLOR]' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to '[COLOR=red]sit[/COLOR]', so that we can click that by sitting. 3. One doubt is whether any [COLOR=red]'re-scooter[/COLOR]' is available in system? I find only [COLOR=red]'re-cycle[/COLOR]', but I own a scooter at my home. 4. There is '[COLOR=red]Find[/COLOR]' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem. 5. My child learnt [COLOR=red]'Microsoft word[/COLOR]' now he wants to learn [COLOR=red]'Microsoft sentence[/COLOR]', so when you will provide that? 6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows [COLOR=red]'MY Computer'[/COLOR]: when you will provide the remaining items? 7. It is surprising that windows says [COLOR=red]'MY Pictures'[/COLOR] but there is noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that. 8. There is [COLOR=red]'MICROSOFT OFFICE'[/COLOR] what about [COLOR=red]'MICROSOFT HOME'[/COLOR] since I use the PC at home only. 9. You provided [COLOR=red]'My Recent Documents'[/COLOR].. When you will provide [COLOR=red]'My Past Documents'[/COLOR]? 10. You provide [COLOR=red]'My Network Places'[/COLOR]. For God shake please do not provide [COLOR=red]'My Secret Places'[/COLOR]. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours. Regards, Banta Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates : Sir, how is it that your name is [COLOR=red]Gates[/COLOR] but u are selling [COLOR=red]WINDOWS[/COLOR]?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/B] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][U][B]Woman Are Amazing[/B][/U][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/CENTER] [B]"I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go[/B] [B]to bed." [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, [/B] [B]took meat out of the freezer for supper the[/B] [B]following evening, checked the cereal box levels, [/B] [B]filled the sugar container, [/B] [B]put spoons and bowls on the table and[/B] [B]started the coffee pot for brewing the next [/B] [B]morning. [/B] [B]She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, [/B] [B]put a load of clothes into the washer, [/B] [B]ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. [/B] [B]She picked up the game pieces left on the table, [/B] [B]put the phone back on the charger and [/B] [B]put the telephone book into the drawer. [/B] [B]She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket [/B] [B]hung up a towel to dry. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]teacher, [/B] [B]counted out some cash for the excursion [/B] [B]pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. [/B] [B]She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed[/B] [B]and stamped the envelope [/B] [B]wrote a quick note for the grocery store. [/B] [B]She put both near her bag [/B] [B]Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, [/B] [B]put on her Night Solution & age fighting[/B] [B]moisturizer, [/B] [B]brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"I'm on my way," she said. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]She put some water into the dog's dish and [/B] [B]put the cat outside, [/B] [B]then made sure the doors were locked and patio light[/B] [B]was on. [/B] [B]She looked in on each of the kids and turned out[/B] [B]their bedside lamps and radios, [/B] [B]hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the[/B] [B]hamper, [/B] [B]had a brief conversation with the one up still doing[/B] [B]homework. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]In her own room, she set the alarm; [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]laid out clothing for the next day, [/B] [B]straightened up the shoe rack. [/B] [B]She added three things to her 6 most important [/B] [B]things to do list. [/B] [B]She said her prayers, [/B] [B]and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." [/B] [B]And he did...without another thought . [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anything extraordinary here? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Wonder why women live longer...? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL...... (and[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [B]they can't die sooner, they still have things to[/B] [B]do!!!!) [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]By all Means... MARRY! [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]David[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]Bissonette[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Sacha Guitry[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Hemant Joshi[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Socrates[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Dumas[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Sigmund Freud[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anonymous[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Henny Youngman[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Sam Kinison[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.. It's called marriage."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]James Holt McGavran[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Patrick Murray[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Nash[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anonymous[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Henny Youngman[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Rodney Dangerfield[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Milton Berle[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anonymous[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anonymous[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B] [FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Anonymous[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/B] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The Good Husband
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you pu ked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door " Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!" [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]Officials rejected a candidate for a news broadcasters post since his voice was not fit for a news broadcaster. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=verdana][B]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He is Amitabh Bachchan. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---- In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their first record audition for the executives of the Decca Recording Company. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/FONT][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=verdana][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like! their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." The group was called The Beatles. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----- In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B] [/FONT][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married". [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2][FONT=verdana][B]She went on and became Marilyn Monroe. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------- In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry, fired a singer after one performance. He told him, [/B][/FONT][FONT=verdana][B]"You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck". [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]He went on to become Elvis Presley. -- - ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----- A small boy--the fifth amongst seven siblings of a poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][SIZE=2][FONT=verdana][B]He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets. [/B][/FONT][FONT=verdana][B]The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule. [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India single-handedly. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]He is Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. President of India. ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---- When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?" ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---- When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][B] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]It just happened to be a 2000-step process". ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---- In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]They all turned him down. In 1947, after 7 long years of rejections, he finally got a tiny company in Rochester, NY, the Haloid Company, to purchase the rights to his invention--an electrostatic paper-copying process. Haloid became Xerox Corporation. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --- A little girl--the 20th of 22 children, was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with aparalyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle. That same year she decided to become a runner. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running. One day she actually won a race. And then another. >From then on she won every race she entered. Eventually this little girl-- [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals. ------------ --------- --------- --------- - A schoolteacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life. [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][B]The boy was Albert Einstein [/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][COLOR=#800000][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][FONT=verdana]Never take some one for granted,Hold every person Close to your Heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones." [/FONT][FONT=verdana]Remember this always in life.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR] [/B][/COLOR][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][INDENT][LEFT][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/LEFT]
[SIZE=2][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [CENTER][LEFT][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][U][COLOR=#FF8100]Lessons in Logic[/COLOR][/U] [/SIZE][/COLOR][COLOR=#FFC281] [/COLOR][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.[/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2] ............................[/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]I was born intelligent - education ruined me. .....................................[/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B] [/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice[/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/CENTER][/LEFT] [B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2][CENTER][LEFT] ................... [/SIZE][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][SIZE=2]If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?[/SIZE][/CENTER][/LEFT] [SIZE=2][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/INDENT][INDENT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]..............................................[CENTER][LEFT] [/SIZE][SIZE=2]Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.[/SIZE][/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][SIZE=2][/SIZE] [/CENTER][/LEFT] [CENTER][LEFT][SIZE=2]........................................[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?[/SIZE][/CENTER][/LEFT] [SIZE=2][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/INDENT][INDENT][B][COLOR=black][SIZE=2][SIZE=2]............................................[CENTER][LEFT] Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. [/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][B][SIZE=2].........................[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]One should love animals. They are so tasty. ................................................ Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. ...................................................... Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. ......................................................... The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ......................................................... Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. ..................................................... Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. ............................................. "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep .............................................. There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning ............................................. "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk ............................................ "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours .......................................... God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. .................................................. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn. ......................................... A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]On my desk, I have a work station....[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [SIZE=2][COLOR=black]what more can I say........[/COLOR][/SIZE][/LEFT] [/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT][/INDENT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[CENTER][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][B]What's Love Got to do With it?[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Every Cinderella longs to find her Prince Charming and live happily ever after. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]We all want to fall in love. Why? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/SIZE][COLOR=#330033] [B][COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][SIZE=3]Because that experience makes us feel completely alive.[/SIZE] [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/B] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Our emotions get magnified, senses get heightened, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]and we are flying in seventh heaven.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]It may only last a moment, an hour, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]a day, but that doesn't diminish its value.... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][FONT=Comic Sans MS][/FONT][/SIZE] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]But are you sure it's love that we are talking about? [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Why do independent, smart women become[/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]emotional wrecks after a romantic break-up? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Why do older men gravitate towards younger women? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Could it be estrogen and testosterone hormones [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]that addict us to our lovers? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]In terms of mature relationships and love, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]most of the times, people fail to distinguish [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]between the true meaning of love and lust. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Have you ever been sweeped off your feet by a man/woman [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]standing next to you in a queue? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][U]Is it merely infatuation, a strong shot of chemistry, or budding love - the real thing?[/U] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Is Cupid playing a prank or bringing you true love forever? [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Love at first sight is not believable. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Love takes time. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Lust at first sight sounds much more accurate. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A study done by testing the blood samples of twenty couples, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]who claimed to be madly in love for less than six months,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]revealed that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsiv e Disorder patients. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]It's hard to tell if you are in love because there're no set [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]defining characteristics of love.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The dictionary says it's [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection" [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]or [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][U]What exactly is this feeling or attraction?[/U] [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]The question evoked the thought process was surprised that [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]i had never thought of this aspect of her relationship before. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]After much silence she concluded, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"Emotions are not sufficient to suggest whether a relationship is that of love, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]no matter how strong the attraction may be." [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Sadly, there is not muc h awareness to distinguish between lust and love [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]and that is why we have so many emotional and social problems. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Since time immemorial we are hearing that love is blind. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]But that's a mistake; real love is not blind.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Quite the opposite, it is a relationship in full awareness. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Over time, through good communication and wisdom,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]you can start knowing your partner. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Gradually, you become aware of his/her flaws [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]and try to work your differences in a healthy way. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Lust, on the other hand, could be perceived [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]as being "blind" as it usually distorts reality,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]especially when you're so involved that you don't care[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]to find out the real persona of your partner.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][U]According toa psychologist,[/U] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]we often idolize our partners, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]magnify their virtues and find a way to explain their flaws. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]This basically happens because many movies,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]books and songs paint an unrealistic portrait of love, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]which further builds a false perception of love in our minds. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]When, a commercial pilot by profession, [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]was asked whether his six-year-old relationship was based [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]on love or lust, he was quick to reply, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]"Love is full of sacrifices, trust and respect whereas[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]lust is built on physical attraction, fun and thrills. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Real love is commitment. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]I cannot categorize my relationship [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [COLOR=black][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]as a short sensational affair of love is in the air." [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2]Do some real soul searching today and identify your relationship. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]If you're in a relationship which does not have fondness, [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]respect, affection, devotion along with passion,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]it would be wise to back off. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Or else, one day those wonderful romantic feelings will be gone[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]and you will wonder what happened to your perfect romance.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]Accept the fact that you or your partner is not ready for commitment.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]After all, commitment is a choice [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]which is backed up with actions and maturity.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=4][SIZE=4][SIZE=4][SIZE=6][FONT=Georgia][FONT=georgia][/FONT][/FONT][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR] [SIZE=6][COLOR=#330033][SIZE=4][FONT=georgia][SIZE=4][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=4] [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[SIZE=2][COLOR=black]A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says ''Dark in here'' The man says ''Yes'' it is. Boy - I have a baseball. Man - That's nice. Boy - Want to buy it ?? Man - No thanks. Boy - My dad's outside. Man - OK how much ?? Boy - $150 Man - Sold. In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - ''Dark in here" Man - ''Yes'' it is. Boy - I have a Wilson infielder's glove. The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, How much ?? Boy - $350 Man - Highway robbery. Sold.. A few days later, the father says to the boy, Grab your gloves,let's go outside and have a game of catch. The boy says, ''I can't'' I sold my ball and my glove. The father asks, How much did you sell them for? The boy says, $500 The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.' They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, ''Dark in here'' The priest says, Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now.[/COLOR][/SIZE] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT='Comic Sans MS']The Guys' Rules[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]
[SIZE=2]At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down[U] Finally[/U], the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]'the rules'[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B] [SIZE=2]>From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE![/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] [/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B] [SIZE=2]1. Men ARE not mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are [/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][B][U][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]perfectly[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] Acceptable answers to almost every question.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. Come to us with a problem[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]only[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]problem[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2]. See a doctor.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]don't[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][B][FONT=Arial][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][B] Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]other one[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B] [SIZE=2]1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1 Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. Christopher Columbus did[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]NOT[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] need directions and neither do we.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][FONT=Co mic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Co mic Sans MS'][B]no[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] idea what mauve is. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. If it itches, it[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]will[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] Be scratched. We do that.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...[U]Really[/U].[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/SIZE][SIZE=2][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]golf. [SIZE=2]1. You have enough clothes. [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. You have too many shoes.[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. I am in shape.[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][U][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/U][/B][/SIZE][B][U][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B]Round[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B][SIZE=2] IS a shape![/SIZE] [SIZE=2]1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;[/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Verdana][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana][B] [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Comic Sans MS][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT='Comic Sans MS'][B] [SIZE=5][SIZE=2]But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.[/SIZE] [/SIZE][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/FONT][/B][/CENTER][/CENTER] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
I only know of one couple that fits to a 't' and they've been married
over 70 years... gives the rest of us a challenge .doesn't it? Fluffy of the Day - Before you start reading get a box of kleenex handy - a real tearjerker Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, I love you even more this year, than last year on this day. My love for you will always grow, with every passing year.' She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, In her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there. A year went by, and it was to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? 'I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,' The owner said, 'I knew you'd call, and you would want to know. The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance. Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance. There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago. Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you the following year.' She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached To get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... 'Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone. I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. Or if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife. You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years. When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still. Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock. He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him. and place the roses where we are, together once again. |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
Life is..
Life is an oppotrunity, benefit it Life is beauty, admire it Life is bliss, taste it Life is dream,realize it Life is a challenge, meet it Life is duty, complete it Life is a game, play it Life is a promise, fulfill it Life is sorrow, overcome it Life is a struggle, accep it Life is a tragedy, confront it Life is an adventure, dare it Life is luck,make it Life is too precious, do not destroy it Life is life, fight for IT! Mother Teresa |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[LEFT][FONT=Lucida Handwriting, Cursive][SIZE=6][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]So it was their 7th month anniversary and the girl calls her boyfriend:
-Girl: I love you. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Yeah I know everyone does! -Girl: Really? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Yeah...everyone of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday. - Girl: Oh...but am I only your friend? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: No...you're my girlfriend...why? - Girl: So when I say I love you I really do mean it. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know you love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday. - Girl: .......... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: So wanna go somewhere tonight for our 7th month anniversary? - Girl: Yeah...where? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: I dont know...maybe movie then dinner? -Girl: Ok. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Ill pick you up after I get off and get ready ok? - Girl: Ok. What time do you get off? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 minutes... -Girl: hey...I thought you didnt have work today... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: One of my co-workers called in sick. - Girl: Oh okay! So sill see you around 7:30 then? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Yeah! and babe? - Girl: Yeah? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: I love you. - Girl: I love you too! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go. - Girl: Ok bye. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Bye. ******************************************************* [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]2 hours later... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings the doorbell.... - Girl: Hey!(gives a kiss to her boyfriend) [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Wadssup.....you ready? - Girl: Um...wait...let me get my bag and we can go ok? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Ok. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]They both watched a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating, they headed back to the car but before she got into the car....... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Wait! Can I blindfold you? - Girl: Why??!? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Its a surprise. - Girl: What kinda surprise?? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: A big one. - Girl: Okay but only if you promise me tat you will hold my hand while we're driving... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: I promise. - Girl: Ok blindfold me..... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]So they drove off.........and then they stopped.... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Ok we're here!! -Girl: Where?? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Wait let me walk you to the place! - Girl: What place?? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Somewhere!(and gives a kiss to her on the lips..) - Girl: Baby!... The boy walks her to the place.... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Ok...let me take the blindfold off. - Girl: Where are we?? [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at tat same spot....that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend...... - Girl: Omg...!(tears come down) [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Why are you crying? - Girl: This is where you first asked me out... [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says 'Will you marry me?' in fireworks) - Girl: (tears come down faster) [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: I wasnt at work when you called me...I was planning this whole thing! - Girl: Get up! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]- Boy: Yeah? - Girl: (kisses him) [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]- Boy: Is that a yes or a no? - Girl: Yes.[/SIZE][/FONT] [/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/LEFT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=comic sans ms][B][U]Why do guys fall in love with girls ?[/U][/B][/FONT] [/SIZE][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=comic sans ms] [/FONT] [/SIZE][/COLOR][FONT=comic sans ms][COLOR=#993399][COLOR=black] Here are a few reasons why guys like girls: 1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo..... 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.... 3. How cute they look when they sleep.... 4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.... 5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world...... 6. How cute they are when they eat ...... 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while....... 8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside..... 9. The way they look good no matter what they wear........ 10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth...... 11. How cute they are when they argue . 12. The way her hand always finds yours . 13. The way they smile . 14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight....... 15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later.... 16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them..... 17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you" 18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you....:) 19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry 20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly..... 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt..... 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt...... (even though we don't admit it)! 23. The way they say "I miss you"..... 24. The way you miss them 25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling Only felt :smile: [/COLOR] [/COLOR][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -[/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma]
[SIZE=3][COLOR=black]What will come first, Chicken or egg?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]His wife asked what you are doing.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?Guess what...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To avoid side effects!!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Girl said- "What R U doing...?"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar replied- " [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][URL="http://b.com/"][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]B.COM [/COLOR][/SIZE][/URL][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]from Khalsa college, Chandigarh"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A sardar was drawing money from ATM,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Q:) Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Santa Singh MBBS[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]Life is too short to wake up with regrets. [/COLOR][COLOR=#ff0080]So love the people who treat you right. [/COLOR][COLOR=#ff8100]Love the ones who don't just because you can. [/COLOR][COLOR=#a1a100]Believe everything happens for a reason. [/COLOR][COLOR=#8100ff]If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. [/COLOR][COLOR=#00ffb2]If it changes your life, let it. [/COLOR][COLOR=red]Kiss slowly. [/COLOR][COLOR=#5291ef]Forgive quickly.[/COLOR][COLOR=#5291ef] [/COLOR][COLOR=#ff8141]God never said life would be easy. [/COLOR][COLOR=blue]He just promised it would be worth it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[COLOR=black][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR] [COLOR=black][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]:smile: :smile: [/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
[SIZE=3][COLOR=black][B]Relation Ship in Our Life[/B] [/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/SIZE]
[FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]People come into your life for a[B] reason[/B], a [B]season[/B] or a [B]lifetime.[/B] When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. [B]When someone is in your life for a REASON[/B], it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][B]Some people come into your life for a SEASON,[/B] because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.[I][I] [/I][/I] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black][B]LIFETIME[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=black] relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [I] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Thankyou for being a part of my life. . . . . .. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/I] [I] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]. . .. . . .. . whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/I][COLOR=#0000ff] [/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
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[/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][SIZE=3] [/SIZE] [SIZE=3] [FONT=Arial Black, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif][FONT=Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif][COLOR=#000080][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Black, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif][FONT=Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif][COLOR=#000080][/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT] [/SIZE][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][INDENT][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][B]What Love means to a 4-8 year old.. . [/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER][/CENTER] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=3][SIZE=3]Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is [U]so [/U] worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:[/SIZE] [/SIZE][/FONT] [CENTER][CENTER][FONT=Tahoma][FONT=Tahoma] [/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..' Rebecca- age 8 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [SIZE=3]'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet) [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night...' Clare - age 6 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=3][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6[/SIZE] [/FONT][/FONT] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3]'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8 [/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][SIZE=3] [/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/CENTER] [CENTER][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Verdana][FONT=Verdana] [SIZE=3]And the final one [/SIZE][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue][COLOR=blue] The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'[/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT] [/INDENT][/FONT] [/FONT] [/FONT] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
everything in this world can be seemed as u wish to, good or bad, simple or complicated, easy or difficult.. it s not how things are, it s about how u look up to them. and how u look up to them it s all up to u!
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Titulli: nice and funny stories
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[/COLOR][/SIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=2][COLOR=blue][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial] [/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT=Monotype Corsiva]Where did the year go? Suddenly it is December......again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2008 is on its back![/FONT] [/COLOR][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [COLOR=black]A big "Thank You" to you, for the huge impact you had on my life this year. without you, I'm sure that 2008 would have been extremely boring.[/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [COLOR=black]From my side I wish you all a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.[/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [COLOR=black]May 2009 [/COLOR][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva][SIZE=6][COLOR=#000080][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Monotype Corsiva]mark the beginning of a Tidal Wave of Love, Happiness and Bright Futures.[/FONT] [/SIZE][/COLOR][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]And to those who need someone special, may you find that true love[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To those who need money, may your finances overflow[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To those who need caring, may you find a good heart[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To those who need friends, may you meet lovely people[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]To those who need life, may you find GOD[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Monotype Corsiva] [SIZE=3][COLOR=black]Should you be driving during this time.....please take care![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=4][B]Merry Christmas and Prosperous New Year!![/B][/SIZE] |
Titulli: nice and funny stories
Make up ur mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best out of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something Of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. the trick is To make the laughter outweigh the tears. Don`t take urself too seriously. Don`t think that somehow u should be protected From misfortune that befails other people. U can`t please everybody. Don`t let criticism worry u. Don`t let ur neighbor set ur standards. Be urself. Do the things u enjoy doing but stay out of debt. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy. Avoid people who make u unhappy. Have many interests. If u can`t travel, read about new places. Don`t hold postmortems. Don`t spend ur time brooding over sorrows or mistake. Don`t be one who never gets over things. Do what u can for those less fortunate than urself. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time To be unnhappy. :) |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. [/SIZE][/FONT]
[B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging..[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.[/SIZE][/FONT] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]They, too, will get old.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B] [B][B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.[/SIZE][/FONT] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. [/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/B] [B][B][B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/B][/B] [SIZE=4][B][SIZE=4][B][SIZE=4][B][FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.[/SIZE][/FONT] [B] [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).[/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [SIZE=2] [/SIZE][/B][/SIZE][/B][/SIZE][/B][/SIZE] |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][B]One Flaw In Women
[/B]Women have strengths that amaze men..... They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in.. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideas. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS [/SIZE][/FONT][B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3]ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][/B][/B] [/FONT] |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[B]A Typical [COLOR=#002bb8]Internet[/COLOR] Conversation between an Albanian, a Greek, and a Serb.[/B]
[FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1][[Albania|Bloody_Alboooz932]]: fukk ure mam u greek pice of shiiit, yurr country is burning hahahhaa[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1][[Greece|Achilles33-bigdick]]: albanians re soo fuckin gay omg.. dude i fuckd ur mom last nite you fuckin slave[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Bloody_Alboooz932: i fukkd ur mam nd sister[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Achilles33-bigdick: my dad fuckd ur cousin u homo[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Bloody_Alboooz932: omfg uve so tiny pennnis...i fukk everithink that walks[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Achilles33-bigdick has disconnected. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1][[Serbia|SerbskiPlayboy19]] is now online. [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Bloody_Alboooz932: hey pice of shiiit did ur dad fukk u lst night? [/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]SerbskiPlayboy19: ALBANIAN DUMMFUCK..FUCK ALBANIA KOSOVO IS SERBIA!!![/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Bloody_Alboooz932: i fukkd ur mam nd sister nd cousin lst night[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]SerbskiPlayboy19: UR ARE BLAKK anD GAY And FUcK eech ather, KOSOVO IS SERBIA!!![/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Lucida Console][SIZE=1]Bloody_Alboooz932: fukkin racist i fukkd ur mam lst night...[/SIZE][/FONT] |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[COLOR=#000000][COLOR=#2a2a2a][FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=2][COLOR=black]There was an Italian immigrant man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his Italian wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me..." And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, (what else), and her best friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertaker got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a moment!" She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertaker locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you were not fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband." The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm an Italian Catholic & I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in the casket with him.." You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?" "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account, I wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it." AMEN![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]
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Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4] THE DOLL
I was walking around in a Wal Mart store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll..' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this.. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to the other, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'[/SIZE][/FONT] |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
[COLOR=black][FONT=Arial][SIZE=+2]IF.....[/SIZE][/FONT] [/COLOR]
[FONT=Arial]IF you can keep your head when all about you [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]But make allowance for their doubting too;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Or being hated, don't give way to hating,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And treat those two impostors just the same;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can make one heap of all your winnings [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And lose, and start again at your beginnings[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And never breathe a word about your loss;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]To serve your turn long after they are gone,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And so hold on when there is nothing in you[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If all men count with you, but none too much;[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]If you can fill the unforgiving minute[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son! [/FONT] |
Titulli: Nice and funny stories....
I will tell a funny short story !
One of my friends tolled me in this days... Little boy asks dad ''What's between mum's legs?'' Father answers ''Paradaise* my son. Kid asks again* ''what's between your legs?'' Father replise!''the key to paradaise!'' The son says''Pliece of advice dad* change the lock* that twat next doors got a spare key! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. |
| Te gjitha kohėt janė nė GMT +1. Ora tani ėshtė 19:27. |
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